Thanks for your help, guys. I almost had this figured out on my own, and then got the Straight Dope, so to speak. My sister and I (who is almost as vigilant as me about these types of things, even though she doesn't have kids) remembered a case from about that time when a boyfriend/girlfriend pair abducted a teenage girl and held her in a motel room and the guy did a bunch of stuff to the girl. She was set free. During the trial it came to light that the boyfriend was forcing the girlfriend to assist him in his sick fantasy. She was not allowed, under threat of death, to leave or to allow the other girl to leave. Her family could not afford a defense attorney, and she had to use a public defender, and she ended up doing almost as much time as him.

Last weekend at D's birthday party, which was held at a local park, I had the opportunity to dicuss the situation at length with the husband (nothing like inviting a guy out on a secluded lake for a little paddleboat ride ). I am now thoroughly convinced that this woman is not a threat to my children or anyone else's. I met her mother, stepfather, brother, his wife and family. D's parents asked if they could bring D over on Halloween so that we could all go Trick-or-Treating together, and both Mr. Jane and I are fine with her being around the kids. I absolutely believe she is not a dangerous person. I will use the same amount of care when she is around my kids that I would with anyone else. I will also scrutinize the sex offender website a little more closely.

Jane,

Statistics tell us that over 95% of the things that we worry about does not happen.

Try not to worry. Just be smart like you are being.

A-1