Scottie i am sorry you are angery with us and i can onley speak for myself but after the first month or so i had a hard time trying to figer out what you realy wanted and i could not folow witch way you were going. That dose not mean i wasent concerned with you i gues i was watching where you would go next . As for replies to your posts i post a lot of times and nobody answers them but i know a lot of people read them so i dont get upset so i think we should ralise that people care about us even though thay may not always respond the way we want them to so dont get to upset with us your friend Sag111

thankyou ever so much for the support. I think that all of us who have gone through major changes are supportive to each other. I need that support and I appreciate it more than you guys could ever know. I coulnd't have made it through this thus far without your help advise and council so thankyou. Im going to write and keep writting and let you all know everything of how it is going. I only wish I could get pictures of the surgery but I cant. Have a good New Years and I will keep writting. Scottie

Hi Scottie,

Sorry if I havn't responded to any of your posts. To be honest - with the festive season I've not been responding to much! hehe.

As a fellow eunuch, I'd just like to say that errections are fully possible after castration. Like Luvpain correctly said; its more special, and you need to work at it . And, if this is still a problem; there are - of course! - a whole spectrum of drugs to aid in such matters.

As sombody who's only 21, I fully understand how difficult it can be to be 'different'. You're right. We do need each other... and my heart will be there for you, always.

And - if you're anything like me - you won't regret your decision at all

Happy Christmas, and take care!

~Rog

so I get a bit emotional and react to no posts... and then all of you write me and Im sitting her crying tears of joy!!!! All of your kind words DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!! Never ever want to be alone never ever ever!!!!!! I really hope that someday we can meet one another. It is far to precious of a thing to waste, the friendship and love we share. Again thanks again. I will be writting as I get closer. It's theraputic and I do need you all of you!!!! Scottie

I can relate to you scottie, being alone is one of the worse feelings in the world.

Monday and Tuesday (Christmas Eve) were the most depressings days I have had in a long time. With everyone busy with the holidays there wasn't many people in the chat room. I actually ended up taking Sleeping pills twice on Christmas Eve so that I could sleep through most of the day (3/4).

I've made a number of friends on here many of whom I've meet in person. They along with not wanting to disapoint friends and family have been my reason to keep going many times these last few months. They can be annoying at times, especially when they get on my case and telling me what to do (But thats just me I hate being told what to do :tongueout).

The one thing I have learned is to try and take things one day at a time. I still struggle at it, it is very difficult to come back home to an empty apartment. You at least -upn a Mistress/wife that is supportive of your desires, try to count your blessings.

Im sorry that you had to spend the holidays alone. I understand all of that too. I dont remember if I ever told my story here and my motivation for castration... I lost my wife, kids home, cars and alot of money too, do to my need for 24/7 secual outlets that where uncontolable and going all the time. So for 4 years I went home to an empty apartment and an empty heart. I guess I got lucky ... I went on everyDating service that I could find having to do with BDSM and began to search for what AI wanted and needed. Bingo I found someone and it's been pretty good since. Aint perfect, but its wonderful. I dont know where you stand on that dating stuff but it does work and you can meet people like that. Id do it again if she ever left. The miracle of this place is that we have a similarity and an understnding of ourselves that most will never have. I hope we can talk more and that you have New Years covered. Dont medicate yourself all up it could hurt you. God bless Scottie

I to have tried many of the different services out there related to BDSM, etc. I find them a big waste of time and money. I've had lots of bad luck on them. I get a lot of people that are just into fantasy. I also know that I have very strange interests compared to mosts.

There are not many people into Play piercings, mods, piercings and castration, and since I like to switch roles in dom/sub it makes things a lot harder. I just have to keep up with looking for a partner, maybe I'll be lucky and find someone soon, I just keep holding onto that thought to keep me going anymore.

I'm being carefull with medicine, etc and trying not to be dependant on it. I'vebeen able to get to bed the last 2 nights without needing any pills. I might be pushing things a little here and there. But I'm trying to do things to avoid getting more depressed and doing something that I might regret in that state of mind.

This time of year will go away soon and we all will return to normal things again so hang in there. You know that when I first met my Domm'e I didnt mention to her castration or body mod right away. I kinda went slow and did it slow over time. She was much more accepting at that then. so Id suggest going on to like alt. com network and finding someone and becomming friends withthem first then start talking bout needs wants and desires. That seems to work the best. Well I gotta go Ill write again tommrrow. bye for now Chin up stiff upper lip its going to be ok honest. Scotie