Congrats! So glad to hear it went well. I felt the same -- like nothing really changed, but I had accomplished something that I always wanted.

Would love to hear more about your experience with Dr. Arnkoff. Did he talk to you about it all beforehand? How long did it take? Were you awake?

I am happy for you, am looking forward to being castrated myself

Glad to hear the surgery went well. Are you keeping a diary of the first weeks as a eunuch to document the physical and mental changes ?

Milkman, I'm starting a full dose of T today; according to Dr. Arnkoff, there shouldn't be much of an adjustment in that case. I'm sure I will play with T levels later, but first I want to find my equilibrium.

Dvdbll, here's a fuller account of the experience.

I went to Arnkoff's office and he had someone there ahead of me who was having cold feet. As a result, I had to stew in the waiting room for an hour while the guy ahead of me summoned up his nerve.

Arnkoff himself was very friendly. He asked me if my partner (who wasn't with me) knew that I was taking this step. I said he did, and was okay with it (truth). Arnkoff also reassured me that the testosterone replacement works quite well...though he did warn that insurance is getting more and more reluctant to pay for Androgel and I might be forced to switch to injections at some point.

Even so, the hour of stewing in the waiting room took its toll on me. When it was finally time to go in, I found my resolve had eroded. When the nurse put me in the surgery room and left me by myself to strip from the waist-down, I totally froze. I took one look at the surgical equipment and said to myself "I can't do this."

I went back out and told Arnkoff that I'd changed my mind. He had me sit down, and he asked me why I was having second thoughts. I couldn't really articulate a good reason. He said "If it's just nerves, I can get you through this." It was then I realized that he was right; it was just nerves. So I agreed to go forward. I stripped in front of Arnkoff and he took one look at my large, low-hanging testicles and said "It doesn't get easier than this."

The surgery itself was straightforward. I felt mostly at peace during the procedure. It was hard to tell when I was being snipped because I was numb down there, and because I heard so many snips as the doctors were suturing the cords. When Arnkoff said "your testicles are over there on the table" I felt a bit freaked out and found myself wondering if I'd done the right thing. That sense persisted--not as a screaming in my ears but as a whisper in the back of my head--as I went to the CVS and got my pain pills and antibiotics.

When I got back to the hotel, though, things got better psychologically. I had--and continue to have--some ups and downs mentally but that's really just who I am...I'm a worrier and a second-guesser. Overall, I can honestly say I'm glad I went through with it.

Thanks for sharing . It sounds as if knowing that the guy ahead of you got cold feet , might have impacted your own thoughts. Did that guy eventually get the procedure ? Did you meet him ? Your narrative sounds so logical, that the " moment of truth " would produce such soul searching before and after. How is your mental state now , have the ups and downs mellowed out ?

Those who know me on here as "questioning" know that that name was quite appropriate. I asked a lot of questions and did a lot of research and soul-searching before this procedure. I might've even taken it to an extreme, LOL. But that's all paid off in that I feel pretty good about the outcome so far. The ups and downs are pretty minor at this point. I know I can't go back, so what's the point of stressing?

Congrats Qunuch81!and you have a quite good theory about the "no stressing". After all it sounds to me that you had made the peace with the moment that your balls came off.

Hope you have a speed healing!

LOL well just out of curious did you kept your balls in jar as reminder or not just leave them behind?

Qunuch81 (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:14 am Those who know me on here as "questioning" know that that name was quite appropriate. I asked a lot of questions and did a lot of research and soul-searching before this procedure. I might've even taken it to an extreme, LOL. But that's all paid off in that I feel pretty good about the outcome so far. The ups and downs are pretty minor at this point. I know I can't go back, so what's the point of stressing?

Hope all continues to heal well, and you enjoy the result. Most folks feel uncomfortable at first and have many thoughts about the new situation. Most seem to enjoy the result. Hope you do too!

Day 4 as a eunuch and I don't feel that different. Maybe slightly more relaxed, but that's about it. There remains some soreness, but that's healing.

One question--it's become almost impossible to get an erection, yet I've been taking 2 pumps of Androgel over the past 2 days. Is this just because of all the swelling and healing going on, or is it likely because of low T? I didn't think my T would be so low so soon, especially with adding in the Androgel.

Qunuch81 (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 24, 2015 3:56 pm Day 4 as a eunuch and I don't feel that different. Maybe slightly more relaxed, but that's about it. There remains some soreness, but that's healing.

One question--it's become almost impossible to get an erection, yet I've been taking 2 pumps of Androgel over the past 2 days. Is this just because of all the swelling and healing going on, or is it likely because of low T? I didn't think my T would be so low so soon, especially with adding in the Androgel.

Give yourself a chance to heal. Your T level isn't likely an issue. You just had a significant change to your equipment - failure to work is a likely possibility.