On a site called Stupid.com they feature many hillarious gag gifts for the person who has everything else. One useful item is a nutcracker shaped like Hillary Clinton and her legs can crack any size nuts.

If the EA had a Christimas Fund, it should buy several to be given out to Paolo, Kristoff, Jesus and IEunuch.

http://www.stupid.com

Geez, they even stock whoopee cushions.