how not to do a surprise 30th birthday

[Dave (imported)]

how not to do a surprise 30th birthday

1) serve trailer trash food: the soggy Rigatoni with sticky Ragu Sauce; the supermarket's fried chicken; the watery pulled beef in bouillon sauce, the cheap sausages in oily tomato sauce; the velveeta macaroni salad; the scalloped potatoes that are heavy on the salt and short on the cream.

2) invite all the kids in the scout troop but forget to tell rest of the family to bring their kids.

3) Lose relatives invitations in the mail and don't phone them because you might spoil the surprise since "spouse" listens and monitors all phone calls.

4) make it a theme party - Harry Potter, Adam and Eve, Grand Opera, Country Western, Joe Dirt - anything as long as the birthday boy/girl hates the theme.

5) Serve only stuff that begins with "B" and exists in bottles for refreshments. Plus soda pop - the orange Fanta kind. MAke sure the bar has nothing sophisticated like Thunderbird wine or Old Sox Chardonay. Champagne? that's French and we don't dreenk no stinkin' French stuff.

6) dance the electric slide, the hokey pokey and whatever else is trite.

7) AS for parking the cars - remember this is a SURPRISE Party. make sure all the distinctive cars are parked near the entrance just to spoil the surprise.

8) Use a parking lot with no lighting.

And to all who read this, thanks. I needed that little catharsis. And It wasn't my 30th birthday. I'm 57 - Like the Heinze Pickle Pin.

[tugon (imported)]

Sounds like some of the wedding receptions I have attended as a paid photographer. Did anyone dance the chicken dance?

[Dave (imported)]

Sounds like some of the wedding receptions I have attended as a paid photographer. Did anyone dance the chicken dance?

Not while I was there. But I left when the band started to play. I have more respect for my ears than that band.

[Paolo]

The best wedding I ever shot was an outdoor redneck wedding.

The preacher was so drunk, HE almost kissed the bride.

[Falcon (imported)]

I confess, I am related to rednecks. At a wedding a few years ago, members of the bride's family (my side) got into a fist fight with the groom's family over who got to keep the deposit when the keg was returned.

Terry

[Dave (imported)]

I wrote a story last year about a family barbecue that kinda made fun of redneck get togethers.

It's called American Family Barbeque and it's here:

http://fragments.ws/other/barbecue.html