It's National Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 10:26 am
So in celebration, here's a few really bad jokes!
Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep!
Why couldn't the pirate hear?
'Cuz he had no buccan-ears!
What do you call a pirate with no eye?
A prate!
How does a pirate smuggle drugs across the border?
He hides them in his booty!
How do pirates ship their treasure down a river?
They use a BARRRrrrge!
What does a pirate take for indigestion?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of Tums!
Why did the pirate blush?
Because the sea-weed!
A pirate walks into a bar with a mangy, infected parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says, "You shouldn't be that close to something so disgusting, such a low-life animal."
The pirate says, "Arr, it's ok, he's had his shots."
Then the bartender says... "I was talking to the parrot!"
Why did the pirate cross the sea?
To get to the other tide!
What do pirates and gangsters have in common?
They both say "Yo Ho"!
Where do pirates keep their bathrooms?
On the poop deck!
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he is waiting for it he spots a pirate sitting in the corner of the bar. The pirate has two wooden arms and two wooden legs. Naturally curious, the man gets his drink, walks over to the pirate and asks, "Excuse me sir, I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help noticing that you have two wooden arms and two wooden legs. You must have been involved in some fierce sea battles?"
The pirate looked up, paused and said, "Arrrr no... me father was a tree!"
Last but not least...
There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates!
Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep!
Why couldn't the pirate hear?
'Cuz he had no buccan-ears!
What do you call a pirate with no eye?
A prate!
How does a pirate smuggle drugs across the border?
He hides them in his booty!
How do pirates ship their treasure down a river?
They use a BARRRrrrge!
What does a pirate take for indigestion?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of Tums!
Why did the pirate blush?
Because the sea-weed!
A pirate walks into a bar with a mangy, infected parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender says, "You shouldn't be that close to something so disgusting, such a low-life animal."
The pirate says, "Arr, it's ok, he's had his shots."
Then the bartender says... "I was talking to the parrot!"
Why did the pirate cross the sea?
To get to the other tide!
What do pirates and gangsters have in common?
They both say "Yo Ho"!
Where do pirates keep their bathrooms?
On the poop deck!
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he is waiting for it he spots a pirate sitting in the corner of the bar. The pirate has two wooden arms and two wooden legs. Naturally curious, the man gets his drink, walks over to the pirate and asks, "Excuse me sir, I hope you don't mind but I couldn't help noticing that you have two wooden arms and two wooden legs. You must have been involved in some fierce sea battles?"
The pirate looked up, paused and said, "Arrrr no... me father was a tree!"
Last but not least...
There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates!
