A man and his wife were working in their garden one day. The man looked over at his wife and said, "Your butt is getting really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue grill." With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill, then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom. "Yup, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue grill." The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night, in bed, the husband was feeling a little frisky. He made some advances toward his wife, who completely brushed him off. "What's wrong?" he asked. She answered, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

--

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick says "Hey you, get off of my cloud.".

A Scotsman says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe.".

LOL...

I'll have to remember that one. Though I'm not good at remembering jokes very well.

*snickers* Well at least I know of something good to tell a guy if they ever says my butt is big.