The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and

senior enlisted men. It was decided to offer an early

retirement bonus. They promised any officer or senior

enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of

$1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line

between any two points in his body. Those applying got

to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be

measured from the top of his head to the tip of his

toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with

a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter

and asked to be measured from the tip of his

outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with

$96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a

grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he

would like to be measured replied,

"From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want

to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks

the previous two officers had received. But the old

Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him

providing the measurement was taken by a medical

officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the

Sergeant Major to "drop 'em," which he did.. The

medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of

his weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he

suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The

old Sergeant Major calmly replied, " Vietnam "

lol... now that was good!