Six Morons of 2006
Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 6:18 pm
WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP:
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He was given a generous severence package of $26
million. Perhaps it's not Walter who is lacking in intelligence.
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours trying to capture a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing tear gas canisters inside and then searching the house, the gunman was finally found outside. He had been standing beside the officers yelling, " Please come out and give yourself up."
THE GETAWAY:
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas mini-mart and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently the take was too small so he tied up the clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until the police showed up and grabbed him.
DID I SAY THAT:
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted. "that's not what I said."
NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED:
In Modesto, California, Steven King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America without a weapon. King used a thumb and finger to simulate a weapon. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
THERE SHOULD BE AN IQ TEST TO PASS BEFORE PILOTING A BOAT:
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella in the high desert just east of Bakersfield, some folks new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their new 22 foot boat going without moving sluggishly. After an hour of trying, they finally made it into a local marina to get some advice. One young mechanic checked out their steering, engine and fuel mixture and said everything was fine. He then said he go underwater and look under the boat to see if they had picked up a tree limb which was causing them to drag slowly. He came out of the water choking because because he had started to laugh underwater.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the boat trailer.
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He was given a generous severence package of $26
million. Perhaps it's not Walter who is lacking in intelligence.
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours trying to capture a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing tear gas canisters inside and then searching the house, the gunman was finally found outside. He had been standing beside the officers yelling, " Please come out and give yourself up."
THE GETAWAY:
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas mini-mart and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently the take was too small so he tied up the clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until the police showed up and grabbed him.
DID I SAY THAT:
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted. "that's not what I said."
NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED:
In Modesto, California, Steven King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America without a weapon. King used a thumb and finger to simulate a weapon. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
THERE SHOULD BE AN IQ TEST TO PASS BEFORE PILOTING A BOAT:
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella in the high desert just east of Bakersfield, some folks new to boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their new 22 foot boat going without moving sluggishly. After an hour of trying, they finally made it into a local marina to get some advice. One young mechanic checked out their steering, engine and fuel mixture and said everything was fine. He then said he go underwater and look under the boat to see if they had picked up a tree limb which was causing them to drag slowly. He came out of the water choking because because he had started to laugh underwater.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the boat trailer.
I think its time for me to apply for that job with AT&T, I will bring you with me and in 9 month we can split 26 million. I think we both deserve it and I know we could both use it. 