Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you’ll need to pee.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Thanks to M.D. Rosenberg