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Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:49 am
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
Yolanda/Yoli is in the house!
Could one of the eunuchs here PLEASE lend me some of that "Eunuch Calm" stuff?
The senior banana in our firm just Emailed me and asked me to go to THE MOST HEAVILY TRAFFICKED MALL in San Antonio to pick up a gift he ordered for some bigbux client.
From where we live to there is a "death wish" drive at this time of year, especially early in the day. And...he wants it at the office DOWN*&%^$!TOWN by 10 AM!!!
I'm not really into the peepee chopping stuff so much as I am with good old-fashioned castration, but this time I'd happily cut off his "Senior Banana"! (He's pushing 65, so I guess his banana is senior too.)
Then again, the office grapevine tells me that my Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa/National Atheist Day/Being a Good Girl bonus will be very, very generous. Well, what's a little road rage when a friend needs help, right?
Kisses to those who want 'em. Hugs for the rest.
Yolanda The Destruction Derby Champion

Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:53 am
by Paolo
What kind of shape is he in?
Death by heart attack during sexual activity is not uncommon in old men. Slip him some viagra when he's not looking, with a touch of caffeine.
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:03 am
by FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)
Paolo wrote: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:53 am
What kind of shape is he in?
Death by heart attack during sexual activity is not uncommon in old men. Slip him some viagra when he's not looking, with a touch of caffeine.
Almost logged out...Whew!
Actually, he's a rugged outdoorsy kinda guy, in great shape, and a great boss.
I think he's getting even for my outshooting him on a dove hunt with one of our big ticket clients...heehee. He caught a lot of ribbing at the post-hunt BBQ because he "let a lil' ol' girl" get her limit with only three misses while he used 1.5 boxes of shells and still was one bird short at sunset. Worse yet, he was using a big old 12 gauge and I was using my dainty little Beretta over/under 28 gauge that he calls a "Popgun".
I have a feeling that he'd be able to survive repeated lovemaking. Not that I'll EVER cross that line. Nor would he...darn it!
We all love and respect the man, but when he says "Jump!" we all ask "How high, Sir?"
BTW, he passed his FAA physical again, about three weeks ago.
Luv,
Now off to the shower and then the *&%^^#$ MALL!
Yoli
NASCAR Rookie
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:27 am
by Studlover (imported)
FianceeUvBigGuy (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:03 am
Almost logged out...Whew!
Actually, he's a rugged outdoorsy kinda guy, in great shape, and a great boss.
I think he's getting even for my outshooting him on a dove hunt with one of our big ticket clients...heehee. He caught a lot of ribbing at the post-hunt BBQ because he "let a lil' ol' girl" get her limit with only three misses while he used 1.5 boxes of shells and still was one bird short at sunset. Worse yet, he was using a big old 12 gauge and I was using my dainty little Beretta over/under 28 gauge that he calls a "Popgun".
I have a feeling that he'd be able to survive repeated lovemaking. Not that I'll EVER cross that line. Nor would he...darn it!
We all love and respect the man, but when he says "Jump!" we all ask "How high, Sir?"
BTW, he passed his FAA physical again, about three weeks ago.
Luv,
Now off to the shower and then the *&%^^#$ MALL!
Yoli
NASCAR Rookie
FianceeUvBigGuy, Being a native San Antonian myself, I am afraid that even the "eunuch calm" cannot compensate for the horrors of Loop 1604 or new malls across from UTSA let alone North Star Mall.
Last week it took me ONE HOUR to drive from Summer Glen (3 miles North of Encino Park) to Medical and I-10. Even myself now being chemically castrated and enjoying the "eunuch calm" of Depo Provera still did not help after that experience.
Studlover
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:50 am
by tugon (imported)
I have never experienced eunuch calm behind the wheel of a car. I pretend when I have passengers. If you are not the lead dog the view never changes. Oh and I hate mini vans.
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:01 am
by Studlover (imported)
tugon (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:50 am
I have never experienced eunuch calm behind the wheel of a car. I pretend when I have passengers. If you are not the lead dog the view never changes. Oh and I hate mini vans.
And Pick Up Trucks. Texas has more Pick'em Up trucks than Mini Vans!
Studlover
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:52 am
by tugon (imported)
Studlover (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:01 am
And Pick Up Trucks. Texas has more Pick'em Up trucks than Mini Vans!
Studlover
I hate the pick-up truck attitude. Now not everyone who owns a pick-up has the attitude. What I am referring to is when a truck is going 5 miles below the speed limit and I pass them in my Toyota Echo they take it as an afront to their masculinity and then start tailgating trying to intimidate me. Now instead of driving the 50 miles an hour in the 55 mph zone they are on my ass at 65mph. If they were driving that fast to begin with I would not have had to pass them.
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:56 pm
by Paolo
Oh no, no calm at all when driving.
I am usually a screaming lunatic.
I held it in check while Jesus (A) was here, but my boys all have a very BROAD vocabulary, thanks to me!
And I drive a 4wd SUV now. I pull out just to piss people off if I think they deserve it... But never in front of small cars. I don't want one running under me.
(Yeah, and I'm loaded, btw, on EXPENSIVE wine! I'm sure I'll regret this later.)
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:50 pm
by kristoff
tugon (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:50 am
I have never experienced eunuch calm behind the wheel of a car. I pretend when I have passengers. If you are not the lead dog the view never changes. Oh and I hate mini vans.
One of my customer's motto/logo is "Always Lead." Their name is Upfront XXXX Co. I think it applies elsewhere....
Re: Help MEEEEEE!!!
Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:54 pm
by kristoff
tugon (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:52 am
I hate the pick-up truck attitude. Now not everyone who owns a pick-up has the attitude. What I am referring to is when a truck is going 5 miles below the speed limit and I pass them in my Toyota Echo they take it as an afront to their masculinity and then start tailgating trying to intimidate me. Now instead of driving the 50 miles an hour in the 55 mph zone they are on my ass at 65mph. If they were driving that fast to begin with I would not have had to pass them.
Bastards tail gate me, I just turn off the cruise, let off the gas, and coast. When they get frustrated, and finally pull out to pass after all that traffic has passed and got ahead of them, floor it. When they race to catch up, slam the brakes hard, then floor it. Watch the rear view mirror and see what happens.
Disclaimer: I really don't do this, but it sure makes for a nice fantasy. I does do the coasting part....
Course, I do drive a full size pickup