Lake Wobegon for Eunuchs...
Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 6:40 pm
I found this on the web and thought interest here on the Archive of lifes little pleasures warranted its posting.
A Lake Wobegon Philosophy for Eunuchs
1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do this before they do unto you what you dont want them to do. Shame them with goodness. Kill them with kindness. Cut their throats with courtesy. This is one of those rules where Eunuchs excel. Kindness, goodness, what more can we say.
2. The way to do something is to do it. Persevere. If you want to become the Tallest Boy In The Sixth Grade, stick around, keep at it, and the prize will be yours. Eunuchs are good at this too. Who else sticks around until they get their nuts cut off?
3. Try not to talk about the relationship. And dont refer to it as a relationship. Either its a friendship or a romance or an illicit affair or your related. This seems more like the Eunuchs public truth vs. private truth. When it comes to the final cut status Eunuchs have a difficult time talking about this subject matter openly in public.
4. The rules for marriage are the same as the rules for a life raft. No sudden moves. Dont crowd the other person. Keep all thoughts of disaster to yourself. Almost any marriage can be helped simply by having more fun. If necessary, try taking your clothes off. I know Eunuchs who cant keep their clothes on so does this apply to them. Eunuchs partnerships are quite interesting in that they are calm and usually dont make sudden moves. Before the final cut, more and more torture or body modifications take place. Sometimes it takes years.
5. All tragedy is misunderstood comedy. God is a great humorist who is working with a rather slow audience. Lighten up. Whatever you must do, do it wholeheartedly, joyfully. As you get older, youll learn how to fake this. Eunuchs dont joke around. Their life is not a joke for all to enjoy. Eunuchs take the final cut seriously and modify their body in a joyful and wholehearted attempt to fix what they perceive as a wrong. They learn with age there is no faking the situation.
Enjoy and feel free to post your comments or additions to the list.
A Lake Wobegon Philosophy for Eunuchs
1. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do this before they do unto you what you dont want them to do. Shame them with goodness. Kill them with kindness. Cut their throats with courtesy. This is one of those rules where Eunuchs excel. Kindness, goodness, what more can we say.
2. The way to do something is to do it. Persevere. If you want to become the Tallest Boy In The Sixth Grade, stick around, keep at it, and the prize will be yours. Eunuchs are good at this too. Who else sticks around until they get their nuts cut off?
3. Try not to talk about the relationship. And dont refer to it as a relationship. Either its a friendship or a romance or an illicit affair or your related. This seems more like the Eunuchs public truth vs. private truth. When it comes to the final cut status Eunuchs have a difficult time talking about this subject matter openly in public.
4. The rules for marriage are the same as the rules for a life raft. No sudden moves. Dont crowd the other person. Keep all thoughts of disaster to yourself. Almost any marriage can be helped simply by having more fun. If necessary, try taking your clothes off. I know Eunuchs who cant keep their clothes on so does this apply to them. Eunuchs partnerships are quite interesting in that they are calm and usually dont make sudden moves. Before the final cut, more and more torture or body modifications take place. Sometimes it takes years.
5. All tragedy is misunderstood comedy. God is a great humorist who is working with a rather slow audience. Lighten up. Whatever you must do, do it wholeheartedly, joyfully. As you get older, youll learn how to fake this. Eunuchs dont joke around. Their life is not a joke for all to enjoy. Eunuchs take the final cut seriously and modify their body in a joyful and wholehearted attempt to fix what they perceive as a wrong. They learn with age there is no faking the situation.
Enjoy and feel free to post your comments or additions to the list.