I used to have a Labrador retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina

at Doggie Mart, and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... (here's your clue). On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50

pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out

of most my orfices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I told her that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my diet, particularly a guy who was behind the woman who first enquired.

Horrified, the woman asked if I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no;

I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have to stagger out the door.

Oh my! I laughed so hard a neighbor knocked on the door to see if I was alright.