Allegedly Actual Bumper Stickers
Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:17 am
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
It's WORSE than you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace --- Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Warning: Deadlines on Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and you will meet a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be enjoying something.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Bad Cop! No donut!
This acid must be good. It feels like I'm driving!
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
Credit: http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/
.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
It's WORSE than you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace --- Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Warning: Deadlines on Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and you will meet a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be enjoying something.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Bad Cop! No donut!
This acid must be good. It feels like I'm driving!
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
Credit: http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/
.