New Political Vocabulary

[JesusA (imported)]

In case you've been having trouble recently in deciphering speeches and news reports, following are some definitions (especially in light of the W administration double-speak):

*alternative energy sources/ n./* New locations to drill for gas and oil.

*bankruptcy/ n./* A means of escaping debt available to corporations but not to poor people.

*"burning bush"/ n./* A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire.

*Cheney, Dick/ n./* The greater of two evils.

*class warfare/ n./* Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.

*climate change/ n./* Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.

*compassionate conservatism/ n./* Poignant concern for the very wealthy.

*creation science/ n./* Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.

*DeLay, Tom/ n./* Past tense of De Lie.

*extraordinary rendition/ n./* Outsourcing torture

*faith/ n./* The belief that the "Beatitudes" found in the Bible include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the war makers."

*free markets/ n./* Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.

*girly-men/ n/* Males who do neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women.

*God/ n./* Senior presidential adviser.

*growth/ n./*

1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich.

2. What happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.

*healthy forest/ n./* No tree left behind.

*honesty/ n./* Lies told in simple declarative sentences, e.g., "Freedom is on the march."

*House of Representatives/ n./* Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate).

*laziness/ n./* When the poor are not working.

*leisure time/ n./* When the wealthy are not working.

*liberal(s)/ n./* Followers of the Antichrist.

*No Child Left Behind/ riff/.*

1. There are always jobs in the military

2. The Rapture

*ownership society/ n./*

1. A civilization where 1% of the population controls 90% of the wealth.

2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners.

*Patriot Act/ n./*

1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.

2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us.

*pro-life/ adj./* Valuing human life up until birth.

*Senate/ n./* Exclusive club; entry fee - $10 million to $30 million.

*simplify/ v./* To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

*staying the course interj./ Slang/.* Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results (See: insanity).

*stuff happens interj./ Slang./* I don't have to live in Baghdad.

*voter fraud/ n./* A significant minority turnout.

*woman/ n./*

1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child.

2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.

[Paolo]

You forgot "weasel" - n - a small, furry, carnivorous animal known for stealing chickens, member of the mustilidae family. Also, a medium-sized, furless Human known for stealing money, member of the Bush family. See also "inverse Robin Hood".

[Dave (imported)]

You forgot "weasel" - n - a small, furry, carnivorous animal known for stealing chickens, member of the mustilidae family. Also, a medium-sized, furless Human known for stealing money, member of the Bush family. See also "inverse Robin Hood".

usually combined with the4 honorific "ass-kissing"

as in my boss is an ass-kissing weasel