Definitions of major world religions

1.TAOISM: Shit happens

2.CONFUCIANISM: Confucious says shit happens

3. BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it is not really shit

4. ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

5. ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah

6. HINDUISM: This shit happened before

7. PROTESTANTISM: let this shit happen to someone else.

8.CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it.

9. JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?

10. NEW AGE: Affirm that shit does not happen to me

11. ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit.

12. RASTAFARIANISM: Let's roll this shit up and smoke it.