Sometimes I just don't know what to do. This isn't necessarily castration related, but the TG board is so rarely visited that I thought I'd post here.

I really feel like just giving up. I could just try my hardest to live as a man. I'd be miserable and could very well end up killing myself, but at least I probably wouldn't face as many problems as transition might bring me.

I have felt bad since last night about this whole thing. I have a hard time believing I'm ever going to make it. I refuse to go full time without FFS. I just couldn't take the ridicule and harassment I'd get if I can't pass. It would tear me to pieces.

But I find that I'm being torn already. My family won't support me. I have no one IRL who supports me at all. I don't know if I can take this anymore. It's just too hard to be trans. Why couldn't I just have been born a girl? Things would be so much easier that way.

Do I just give up now before I get too far into this?

Then again, I can't take one more day of pretending to be someone I'm not. Each time I go outside and have to face the world this way.....as someone who isn't me at all....it's a nightmare. And the worst part is no one understands. All they do is call me sir as if that were some sort of honor. If I get one more sir, I don't know what I'll do. I don't want people to think of me that way. It just isn't right.

I'm feeling really lost right now I just wanted to let all of this out.

Just hang in there Plix, you have some folks on your side and things will change soon.

tal

Plix,

Do consider telephoning Uncle Wolfie. I can attest to the bad jokes from personal experience, but he is also a kind and caring person who will provide some local support. He's the closest member of your new Archive family to you – maybe even within walking distance.

Plix?

Are you able to travel, say next weekend to eunuch central?

tal

Plix i to can send you my phone number if you want it i am not TG but as many here i have some very good friends that have traveled that path and since we both have gone through castration we do have that in common.I as others will be glad to help you through this all we can .Mat God bless you dear and keep intouch we are all family here.

Plix,

You've been on my mind alot today, after seeing your post mid-afternoon. No wise words to share. Just want you to know folks are thinking warm/kind thoughts of you. Perplexed thoughts, too. (Does 'Plix' come from perplexed?)

TG is rough. Though I have no plans to transition, I look at my chest each day in hope of seeing development. (No HRT.) So there are some contradictions in my life.

BTW: Thanks for breathing some life into the TG forum. I visit each day hoping for updates. You're right -- it doesn't see much activity.

Keep the posts coming. Thinking of you.

You hang in there, kiddo.

You can't undo "boy puberty" overnight you know.

Stick with it and keep looking at Christina's picture...that should be inspiration enough!

We're here for you.

hi plix,you might want to talk to leona lee, I am sure chatting with her would help.She's been there and done that.Having the same feelings you talk about.

Take care my friend and remember that you have many family members here including myself who stand behind you.[twin]

Plix, about all I can tell you, is that you live in a world in which most of what people expect from you, makes no sense, and it's largely part of a control system that is intended to be used to manipulate you and everybody around you. Try to stop concentrating all the time about what other people think about you, and work out your own way of being yourself. And, most importantly, find other people who will accept you as you are. Practically all the people on the Archive accept you as yourself, and I'm sure there are a lot of others not far from where you live who would do the same. What other people think about you, is something which is never worth suffering or worrying about.

Plix,

I dont know what to add other having known you for such a short time we all I think feel the same way, You are family, you are one of us, we will always be there for you.

I am so looking forward to meeting you next week. I think we all have addopted you, you have touched us all.

River

PS. if you need to talk I will send you my number.