No Terrorists In Texas

Dallas Air Traffic Control (ATC): "Tower to Saudi Air 091101--You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 180R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on runway 180R. Allah be Praised!"

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Egypt Air 091102--You are cleared to land westbound on runway 180R."

Egypt Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on runway 180R. God is Great!"

Pause: Static

Saudi Air: "Dallas ATC! Dallas ATC!" Come in! Come in!

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi?"

Saudi Air: "May day! May Day! You have cleared both our aircraft for the same runway!!! Instructions please!!!

Dallas ATC: Y'all be careful now, y'hear?"

"East" and "west" on "runway 180"? Come now!

Patient (imported) wrote: Thu Jul 14, 2005 3:00 pm "East" and "west" on "runway 180"? Come now!

It's a very good joke except for just one technical flaw. . . The reciprocal runway assignments should have been "Runway 18 Right" and "Runway 36 Left." [Or, if you prefer, "Runway 18 Left" and "Runway 36 Right." That way we could set up funerals for four, rather than two, loads of terrorists. ] If you stop and think about it, one runway of a pair of parallel runways is "Right" going one direction and "Left" in the other direction. One of my scariest rides included a takeoff headed east and meeting an airliner landing to the west on my runway!

Just call me a spoil sport.

Studlover

The point I meant to make is that traffic eastbound or westbound on runway 18 would be travelling across the runway, not along it, because runway 18 would point due south. The change I would recommend is to replace "runway 180" with "runway 27".

The joke as wriiten above is a very good joke even though it contains several other errors in terminology and procedure. I cannot recommend correcting those errors because doing so would make the joke incomprehensible to everyone who is not familiar with international aeronautical terminology and procedure, whereas in its present form most people will get the point that Dallas Tower has cleared two aircraft to land in opposite directions on the same runway.

Thanks for posting it, Studlover. I do enjoy it.

Jeez, fellas, it was a joke. Just go with it and enjoy the giggle; don't lose the humor by dissecting it to death.