Texan Win 98

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas edition of

Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Texas. If you

have one of the Texas editions you may need some help understanding

the comments.

The Texas edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.

It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee

superimposed on a confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke

screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse. My

Computer is called This infernal Contraption. Dialup Networking is

called Good Ol' Boys. Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard.

Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them

little ole plastic thangs. Instead of an error message you get a

winder cover with a garbage bag and duct tape.

It features some of these messages:

OK = ats aww-right

cancel = hell no

reset = aw shit

yes = shore

no = naaaa

find = hunt-fer it

go to = over yonder

back = back yonder

help = hep me out here

stop = ternit off

start = crank it up

settings = sittins

programs = stuff at does

Stuff documents = stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or

punctuation marks.

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy

of the Texas edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement

version.