Kids Answers on Science Exam
Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 2:58 am
SCIENCE TEST RESULTS
The following are all quotes from 11 year old's science exams:
When you breath, you inspire.
When you do not breath, you expire. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold
water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test
tube.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free
state.
Water is composed of 2 gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin.
Oxygin is pure gin.
Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of 2 acts, first inspiration, and then
expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like earth, only it is even deader.
Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead
of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes
them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the
abominable cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and
lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there
are five - a, e, i, o, & u.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and
the outsides have ben taken off.
The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of 8 canines, 8 cuspids, 2 molars, &
8 cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon.
All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins the fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it
is.
Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on
the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German. Liter: A nest of young
puppies.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives. Before giving a
blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. For a
nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart
stops.
For drowing: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make
artifical perspiration.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above
the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest
medical doctor.
For dog bite: Put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not
recovered, then kill it.
For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is
dead.
To prevent contraception: wear a condominium. For head cold: Use an
agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
The following are all quotes from 11 year old's science exams:
When you breath, you inspire.
When you do not breath, you expire. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold
water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test
tube.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free
state.
Water is composed of 2 gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin.
Oxygin is pure gin.
Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of 2 acts, first inspiration, and then
expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like earth, only it is even deader.
Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead
of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes
them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the
abominable cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and
lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there
are five - a, e, i, o, & u.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and
the outsides have ben taken off.
The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of 8 canines, 8 cuspids, 2 molars, &
8 cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon.
All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
I forget where the sun joins the fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it
is.
Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on
the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German. Liter: A nest of young
puppies.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives. Before giving a
blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. For a
nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart
stops.
For drowing: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make
artifical perspiration.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above
the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest
medical doctor.
For dog bite: Put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not
recovered, then kill it.
For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is
dead.
To prevent contraception: wear a condominium. For head cold: Use an
agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.