Author unknown to me. With apologies if this has appeared before:

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT

A major research institution has just announced the

discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,

75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,

giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called

morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of

lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, as it impedes every

reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction

to take over 4 days to complete, when it would

normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it

does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization

in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and

deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase

over time, since each reorganization will cause more

morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some

scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed

whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes

Administratium, an element which radiates just as much

energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as

many morons.

And the whole thing is in debt for more than 7 trillion dollars. Possibly a bankruptcy would get it reorganized right.

Hey, that is not there problem, that falls on us.

River