Do You Love as Good as You Look?

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Teeth Were Stained, but Her Heart Was Pure

Here's a Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All over Me

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot about You

I Wanna Whip Your Cow

I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, but I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy

I'm Just a Bug on the Windshield of Life

I've Got the Hungries for Your Love and I'm Waiting in Your Welfare Line

If I Can't Be Number One in Your Life, Then Number Two on You

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be a Quart Low

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All on You

If the Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go and Find Someone Else Who Will

If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

Mama Get the Hammer (There's a Fly on Papa's Head)

May the Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose

My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field,

While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil on My Ears and My Glasses Are Slipping Down, but

Baby I Can See Through You

Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft;

She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

She Made Toothpicks Out of the Timber of My Heart

She's Got Freckles on Her, but She's Pretty

Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone

They May Put Me In Prison, but They Can't Stop My Face from Breakin' Out

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd

You Done Tore Out My Heart and Stomped that Sucker Flat

You Were Only a Splinter in My Ass as I Slid Down the Bannister of Life

You're the reason our kids are so ugly

who wrote the folowing songs:

1) masterbation blues

2) Whips and Things

3) I'm so MF'ing Big I Made Linda Lovelace Gag

? ? ? ?

I'm gonna hire a wino to decorate our home.

Honky tonk anatomy. (The wrist bone is connected to the drinking bone, etc.)

Probably Mac Davis.

Question: what do you get when you play country music records backwards?

Answer: you get your dog back, you get your pickup truck back, you get your horse back, you get your lover back, you get your teeth back, you get sober...

playing a Debbie Boone (Pat Boone's daughter) record backwards gets you chocolate chip cookie recipes.