GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't

have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

6. A Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable,

And Always Close To Your Heart!

THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting

clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed

up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky

dunk."

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply

press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't

fallen asleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he

said.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started

with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.