The Dogsitting Disaster

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Arnold agreed to dog-sit for his friend Raul. Arnold was very suspicious of dogs and never liked them, but since Raul had asked very nicely, he grudgingly said yes.

He said around the first day and the dog did nothing but sleep and eat. The second day, however, Arnold was shocked to hear the dog talking in its sleep.

“Great bloody ghost of Robespierre!” Arnold exclaimed, listening to the dog.

“I am a canary. I don’t sniff other dog’s butts. I’m a vegetarian. I’m only four years old.”

Arnold didn’t think much of it, but it started getting annoying. He put the dog outside. By the third day, the dog was saying all kinds of stupid, almost satirical things, but Arnold had stopped being amused a long time ago.

So he went over to the dog and kicked it. The dog still slept and said, “I love kittens! My mother is an aardvark! Republicans are neat!”

Arnold kicked him again, and this time the dog woke up, growled, and bit Arnold in the genitals.

Arnold screamed, “Oww, my genitals!” and fell over on the ground in pain, knocking Raul, who had just arrived back home, over with him.

“What in the name of Jean-Paul Marat is going on here?” Raul asked after they both got up and knocked the dirt off themselves. Arnold explained everything, about how the whole weekend the dog had been saying all that weird stuff in its sleep.

When Arnold finished, Raul sighed and said, “Arnold, when are you going to let sleeping dogs lie?”