Oh those Missourians!...
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 7:52 pm
A guy from Missouri passed away and left his entire estate
to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
How can you tell if a Missouri redneck is married? There's
dried tobacco juice on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age
in Missouri to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the
high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Missouri?
Documentaries.
Where was the tooth brush invented? Missouri (and West
Virginia). If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have
been called a teeth brush.
A Missouri State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-44 and
says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout
wut?"
Did you hear about the $3 million Missouri State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
The governor's mansion in Missouri burned down! Yep. Pert
near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total
loss, too. Both books - poof! Up in flames, and they hadn't even
finished coloring one of them.
A new law was recently passed in Missouri . . . When a
couple gets divorced they are STILL cousins.
At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Missouri
driver what gear he was in at the moment of impact. He replied,
"tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit"
Folks in Missouri now go to movies in groups of 18. They
were told "17 and under are not admitted".
A Missouri man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!" "Is
this her first child?", the doctor asked. "No ya dummy" the man
shouted, "This is her Husband."
to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
How can you tell if a Missouri redneck is married? There's
dried tobacco juice on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age
in Missouri to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the
high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Missouri?
Documentaries.
Where was the tooth brush invented? Missouri (and West
Virginia). If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have
been called a teeth brush.
A Missouri State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-44 and
says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout
wut?"
Did you hear about the $3 million Missouri State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
The governor's mansion in Missouri burned down! Yep. Pert
near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total
loss, too. Both books - poof! Up in flames, and they hadn't even
finished coloring one of them.
A new law was recently passed in Missouri . . . When a
couple gets divorced they are STILL cousins.
At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Missouri
driver what gear he was in at the moment of impact. He replied,
"tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit"
Folks in Missouri now go to movies in groups of 18. They
were told "17 and under are not admitted".
A Missouri man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!" "Is
this her first child?", the doctor asked. "No ya dummy" the man
shouted, "This is her Husband."
