The Witness

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the

stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She

responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since

you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to

me. You lie, you're a cheat, you manipulate people and talk about them

behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you

haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more

than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across

the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was

a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too,

has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a

drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with

anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire

state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called

both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with

menace, "If either of you ask her if she knows me, you'll be jailed

for contempt!"