Funny Auto Insurance Claims from Abroad:

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in

front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car

behind."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary

than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood.

I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it

with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?

A: Travelled by bus?

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers

on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn.

Q: What warning was given by the other party?

A: Moo.

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel

and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused

me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly

broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the

pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not

have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes

of a hazardous nature?

A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a

haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit

him again."

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my

mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of

its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.

As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my

vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my

universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and

vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later

found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a

tree I don't have."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I

put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of

times before I hit him."

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the

wheel and had an accident."

"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in

a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a

pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my

hat found that I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other

side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off

the roof of my car."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small

car with a big mouth."

"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve

out of the way when I struck the front end."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went

to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the

wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a

different direction going the opposite way."

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner,

when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had

been struck several times before."

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas

and crashed into the other car."

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came

round the corner without giving a signal."

"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have

happened if the other driver had been alert."

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other

vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a

vacation with injuries."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow

progress when we met on impact."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car

out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

Shortie (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 14, 2005 9:16 am "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

Actually it's not a fly, it's a bee. ANd a well known cause of accidents in the countryside - lonely country roads with no traffic in summer - is the driver trying to swat a bee out of the car and ramming into a tree.

Those trees don't move much when hit. . Telephone poles snap off, but trees don't...