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Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound

good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series

of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

(1) When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge

against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

(2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

(3) When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

(4) When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

(5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how

much worse it could be and to quit whining.

(6) When you are confused - I will use small words.

(7) When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well

again. I don't want whatever you have!

(8) When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath... I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask? Because

you are my friend.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends. Then get depressed because you

can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now

anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will

help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.