I hope reincarnation is a fact so I can come back and fuck teenagers gain.

It is a myth that rubbing a toad causes warts but you will give the toad a

hard on.

When a moth farts he can fly in a straight line.

You know what would be fun? To fuck a grief-stricken woman.

One of my favorite things to do at a party is smoke a bunch of PCP and start

taking people's rectal temperatures with permission.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcholics

ought to be told not to fuck.

I think highways should have a beer lane.

The only thing high-definition television will do is provide sharper

pictures of the garbage.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

As a child, I used to wonder fo Charlie McCarthy had little wodden balls.

You rarely see elderly midgets. Apparnetly their life spans are shorter too.

Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?

All the above courtesy of the Comedy God -- George Carlin

Are those from "Napalm and Silly Putty"? I've been reading that one in the bath for the past few nights, and some of those sund familiar.

The chapter about dogs is my favorite.

jane_says (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 22, 2004 7:23 pm Are those from "Napalm and Silly Putty"? I've been reading that one in the bath for the past few nights, and some of those sund familiar.

The chapter about dogs is my favorite.

I don't know exactly which book those are from of his. I don't think they are from his current book WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS.

Studlover

You're right, they're not from the new one. I've heard/read the quotes but haven't read the new book. I started to buy it for my sister yesterday when I was out Christmas shopping (planning to borrow it so I could read it myself ), but I ended up getting her the new Jimmy Buffett book and CD instead. It's embarrassing, but I'm related to a Parrothead.