Veteran Pillsbury spokesmodel, Pop-N-Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities were there including Mrs. Butterworth, The California Raisins, Hungary Jack and Betty Crocker. The graveside was covered in flours. Longtime friend, Aunt Jemima said he was a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Fresh rose quickly in showbusiness but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, wasted much time on halfbaked schemes and rarely in the dough. He was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his wife. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:18 am flours.

Longtime friend, Aunt Jemima

delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy

MacTheWolf (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 09, 2004 10:18 am as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with tunovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Having a tough day, I found this post sitting and nobody reading it...

Peace be with Doughboy...

Another Award Winner!

(with all the issues surrounding the U.S., here is something to think about...)

A lady bought a new Lexus. It cost a bundle. Two days later, she took it back to the dealer, complaining that the radio was not working.

"Madam", said the sales manager, "the GOP audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!" She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused.

She looked at the radio and said "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of "On the road again." The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven; that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it. Newt? No problem.

Suddenly, at a traffic light, her light turned green and she pulled out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved and narrowly missed a terrible collision. "Asshole", she muttered.

And, from the radio............

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States...."

great, just great,

River

Jesus and the redneck...

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang! How's about getting me a cold glass of Coke!!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold Glass of Coke, "On my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back Flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me..... I'm drawin' disability." http://www.eunuch.org/Public/Images/ea1 ... ea1/E9.gif

Lost Fingers...

Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidently cut off all ten of his finkers. He vent to da emergency room in da Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."

Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."

"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" he said. "Lord-it's 2006. Ve's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn't you brink da finkers?"

To vhich Ole says, "How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?

Top Ten most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down...

10. The cucumber has left the salad.

9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..

6. Elvis is leaving the building.

5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.

And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped.....

1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.

Robby (imported) wrote: Wed May 17, 2006 4:08 pm http://www.eunuch.org/Public/Images/ea1/E9.gif http://www.eunuch.org/Public/Images/ea1/E9.gif http://www.eunuch.org/Public/Images/ea1/E9.gif