Did you hear about the new terrorism defense agency?

History Lesson:

150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. That was the beginning of the Secret Service.

Flash Forward to Modern times:

Since that time, the federal government has produced a large number of multi-letter agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc.

Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Can't you see them now, these 'highly trained' men and women in their black outfits with jackets saying across the backs: "F.A.T.A.S.S."

The FATASSs are of course supervised by a special section of the Home Land Security Section known as: Airport Security Service Home Office Logistics Enhancement Section or the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S.

I feel safer already.

A-1

(P.S. If you think this is bad, just wait until you see what I have for you if JFK gets elected...)

I know a few cowardly (I hesitate to say ball-less) federal workers who will come and set up a picket line at your door.