The Virgin

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an

old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing

that her final days were rapidly approaching, and

desiring to make sure everything was in proper order

when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker

(who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to

make the proper "final" arrangements. As a last

wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted

the following inscription engraved on her

tombstone:

"BORN A VIRGIN,

LIVED AS A VIRGIN,

DIED A VIRGIN"

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A

few days after the funeral, as the

undertaker-cum-postal clerk went to prepare the

tombstone that the lady had requested,! it became

quite apparent that the tombstone that she had

selected was much too small for the wording that she

had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he

could fulfill the old maid's final request,

considering the very limited space available on the

small piece of stone . For days, he agonized over

the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal

worker allowed him to come up with what he thought

was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and

duly engraved, and it read as follows:

"RETURNED UNOPENED"