I have psted my notes from my attempt at self castration and what happened after going to the ER.

www.luvpain99.com/failed.html

Luvpain,

Thanks for posting these private notes of your experience.

I have a few comments and questions:

1) Making your parents aware of your self-modifications and castration desire was a BIG breakthrough. The secretiveness of your activities has been blown wide open and the beginning of real discussion can occur.

2) I am not sure what you expected regarding speediness in the hospital, but waiting hours between each step (next doctor, next nurse, etc.) is very common. I don't think a person can get a hangnail fixed without about seven hours in the ER. So you shouldn't be too upset about that. The only things that get speedy treatment are the life-threatening things, and your injury simply wasn't.

3) Pretty much all doctors are quite aloof. I think they have to be in order to do all the wierd stuff they face (blood, guts, death, etc.). So any expectation of a kind, understanding doctor is unlikely. Your experience is normal.

4) I've had very good luck with psychiatrists. Mine are all very understanding and very concerned with exploring all facets of my desire(s). Keep looking for a better one!

5) A female psychiatrist is likely to be more understanding about castration. They don't have balls, so they are not as personally affected by the idea. Remember that psychiatrists are people too and talk about castration will make a male doctor/psychiatrist uncomfortable.

6) So what exactly did the urologist do in the end? It seems that a sliced, open testicle would be in pretty bad shape by the time they got around to the surgery.

7) Forget being depressed. Instead, revel in your life experience. Life is a personal journey.

Cheers

Tue. Nov. 25, 2003

Well I saw my shrink Dr. Short and he is an asshole like all other shrinks, I was talking with him about my reasons for rip[ping the consent form, I made him read my letter which he refused to read entirely yesterday. I tried talking to him about his points he made but he wasn't interested in what I had to fucking say. He just walked off without saying anything.

... and later Zoloft

A number of years ago I had to join an HMO because I followed my urologist to the new hospital (he was one of the founders of it) ...

The GP I had sent me to the Rehab doctor who opened the conversation with "I want to change your medicine" !!!

Now I had seen the withdrawal symptoms from that particular medicine when you stop it - - halucinations for 48 hours- - So I refused the drug and the suggestion from the Rehab doctor. When I really refused the third, forth and fifth time, he screamed and yelled and NEVER talked to me again. (I guess he thought that withdrawing his "service" would so shock me that I would swoon and reverse my decision - HA HA HA what an asshole...)

So don't feel you were singled out...

I'll post other stories when I have more time.

SplitDik (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 02, 2004 3:07 pm Luvpain,

Thanks for posting these private notes of your experience.

I have a few comments and questions:

6) So what exactly did the urologist do in the end? It seems that a sliced, open testicle would be in pretty bad shape by the time they got around to the surgery.

They just patched things up as far as I can tell. there might be some absorable sures inside I can't tell right now. My testicles are sore if I play with them but don't bother me if left alone.

Talking to a friend of mine, he said my problem was I ran into a lot of adhesions, most likely from using my balls as pin cushion and maybe the piercings I have had done to sac.