Hi all,

First post. I guess this is the best place for it.

I have been essentially impotent for over a decade. I could get erections but they were rarely very firm and I invariably lost them whenever I attempted intercourse with my wife. I think a lot of this was mental since I am able to masturbate in private. I've always had a problem visualizing myself in a dominate physical position with a woman. I have another medical condition that prevents me from taking Viagra or any thing that would raise my blood pressure. My impotence remained a secret between my wife and I. A couple years ago, I lost both of my testicles to two incidents of testicular cancer. Fortunately both cases were caught early and I'm still healthy. I'm not the best looking guy in the crowd but certainly not fat or ugly.

When we found out that I was going to lose my second testicle, my wife was telling one of her friends how upset she was that the cancer had come back. Her friend (call her Sue) remarked that "I guess that's the end of your sex life." My wife let the comment go. She was more concerned about me not dying at the time. A lot of people don't realize that after a man is castrated, he can receive testosterone replacement therapy. A few months later, my wife remarked that a lot of people probably thought that I couldn't get it up anymore. I asked who, and she reminded me of Sue's remark. I realized at this point that she had never corrected Sue's impression that my castration had turned me into a sexless eunuch. She had never informed her about testosterone therapy.

This got me to wondering how many other women thought I was now an impotent eunuch and how that knowledge would impact their behavior toward me. After I thought about it for a while, I realized that Sue, whom I didn't see all that often, no longer joked with me in a flirty way, something she had done before. So, my question is, do women change their behavior toward men that they know are impotent? Has anyone else found this to be the case?

Jeremy the eunuch

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jceunuch (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 29, 2015 10:01 am Sue, whom I didn't see all that often, no longer joked with me in a flirty way, something she had done before. So, my question is, do women change their behavior toward men that they know are impotent? Has anyone else found this to be the case?....

Generalizations about large groups of people are always misleading. (Yeah, I know I just made a generalization.) Anyway, the fact that two women have the same type of genitals doesn't mean that their minds work the same way. Much depends on their attitudes toward sex and toward men in general, how comfortable they are with the unfamiliar, whether they're looking for a sexual partner or not, etc.

Sue may think flirty behavior with you would be cruel--or pointless--or she may find dealing with an unfamiliar situation (a man with no testicles) uncomfortable because she doesn't know what's acceptable and what's not. Another woman might enjoy the tease or treat castration as being of no more importance than a hernia operation. My hubby isn't just impotent; he hasn't got a penis anymore. Yet I enjoy getting him horny, and he loves it. It might be interesting to let Sue know (whether by your telling her or your wife's telling her) that you're on testosterone replacement and and can achieve orgasms and that you're quite comfortable with being horny, then see whether her behavior changes.

Sandi

You might try to say something like "She stopped teasing me after my surgery, and now it's kind of awkward. I mean, I feel better than I have in years, and everyone who knows is walking on eggshells."

From my experience, a lot of women, not all, but a lot of women tend to lose sexual desire as they age. You can't lump them all together, some women might become more sexual as they age, but as to their feelings toward men who become eunuchs, I tend to think that it doesn't really matter to most older women. Older women, in my opinion, from experience, seems to be that they really don't care and most, in my opinion, would prefer a eunuch simply because they're just not that sexual anymore. Some are, but most are not into penetrative sex. My wife doesn't like or really want penetrative sexual intercourse because she says it hurts and probably does because she's had a hysterectomy. Once you've had a hysterectomy, it seems, in my opinion, that most women lose most of their sexual desire and would actually consider a man who's become a eunuch, a relief, since there would not be (in their mind) and expectation for sex.