Don't try this at home.....

Did the internet get stung by a story about a man having sex with a hornet nest?

By Metro News Reporter (http://metro.co.uk/author/metro-news-reporter-ukmetro/)

Metro News (UK)

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The web was abuzz today with the apparent news that a man in Sweden had died after trying to have sex with a nest of hornets.

Reports circulated across the world of a man so bloated that his body was mistaken for a whale carcass.

The 35-year-old, apparently known only as Hasse, was said to have been found unconscious next to his farm in Ystad, Sweden.

A neighbour was quoted as saying Hasse looked like a beached whale due to the inflammation caused by hundreds of stings.

However, it now appears as though the story was too good to be true, albeit not for the unfortunate Hasse, as he is said to not even exist.

The original source for the story has now been traced to a satirical website in Sweden, which reported the stinging tale back in September, 2012 (http://nyheternasverige.se/forsokte-ha- ... gbo-avled/).

It was originally reported animal rights campaigners were concerned about the wellbeing of the hornets, but we are now fairly sure no hornets (or men called Hasse) were harmed in the making of this story.

http://metro.co.uk/2013/05/15/man-repor ... s-3760129/

Good news as now there is no need to suck out the venom.

I admit that as part of my extreme masochism, I have several times used wasps to sting my penis. I actually would hit yellow jackets with a fly swatter, just enough to stun them, then pick them up by their wings. They immediately start pulsating their abdomen to find a place to sting, but can't sting your fingers cause they can't reach, so you just lower it onto your penis and BAM stings like a major electric shock. The interesting thing is that the first one will usually cause a lot of swelling, discoloration and pain/itching, but last summer I had a couple sting me every day for a couple weeks and by the end they didn't do anything -- my body didn't react and they barely hurt. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone of course because of the possibility of allergic reaction, but I did have an Epipen handy and already know I'm not dangerously allergic.

Ever wanted to write a story for the Eunuch Archives? Well, here it is, almost fully pre written and with only a few minor changes-such as removing the death and having him get it/them in the nuts, and you're almost ready to hit "Submit". And, thoughtfully, SplitDik has provided some background and technical details. So never ask what has the Archives done for you lately as here's your chance. I'd do it myself but I'm stuck with an article on the fun ways of measuring gravity in a vacuum.