How shall I put this...

Watching this movie is like having a proctology exam done by Jack the Ripper... with torches...

I'd rather repaint the outside of my house with cow manure.

The subplot is two CIA men are chasing or being chased by an international assassin.

The non-plot is a romantic comedy battle between adopted brothers over Reese Witherspoon.

The CIA is involved in both of those things.

Halfway through the movie I said to myself "Who Cares"

Thanks. It's the sort of movie that I might have watched when-rather quickly one supposes-it comes to either pay TV or regular old fashioned TV. Here's the one liner from Rotten Tomatoes that I quite like:

"..date night movie for a couple in the Witness Protection Program.." (Chistian Science Monitor)

...but yours are better, more succinct, direct, visceral.

Thanks to you will be able to say, "Who Cares?" before I don't watch it.