Paolo Poops on a Movie, since Dave Craps on Them
Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:37 am
SPOILERS!
"The Odd Life of Timothy Green"
You can find the link on IMDB, I'm sure, but why bother?
The premise of the movie is such: A couple who cannot have children have tried everything, and have finally been told there is no hope. They are devastated. This is where the bad acting begins. That, and the story is told as a flashback while being related to a committee for adoption. Now, after hearing this tale, would YOU give these loons a child?!
So, deciding to move on with life, they write up all the traits their dream child would have and bury the little notes in a box in the garden. It's a drought time, too. And it rains. Only on their property. The box full of notes literally sprouts like a seed and creates the perfect little boy, Timothy, played by CJ Adams. This is the only good thing about the movie. The little darling has a beatific expression on his face for about 94 minutes, and he's cute.
Timothy, however, is different. He has philodendron leaves growing out of both shins, which cannot be cut off. Yeah, it's summer. The leaves are green. As autumn approaches, this perfect child who seemingly popped up out of the cabbage patch is never even investigated by the police, missing persons, nothing. Everyone in the small town just accepts that the Greens now have a child.
Timothy also knows 'nothing'. But he can talk and understand English. He also seems to know that he's naked, and is ashamed of it.
We then move to the cliche of him bonding with the misfits of the small town, and solving all their problems. Every time he does, a leaf turns red/orange and falls off his leg. The person he helped gets this leaf. As you can guess, in the autumn of his life, it's time for him to go once his work is done and he's saved the town from financial ruin and gotten all the oddballs' problems solved. He's used up all his magic, so to speak, and on a dark and stormy night, he vanishes in a flash of lightning. The grieving parents then find the box in the garden again.
The acting is over the top, the characters are unbelievable, the editing is terrible, and the baddies are so poorly written that you want to slap the director and not them.
For instance, the old favorite uncle dies. In fact, Timothy killed him by getting him to laugh so much he had a heart attack. Wide eyed shot of the boy, then CUT, on to the soccer team tryouts. Huh?! This kid doesn't really know anything, uncle just died, and he's gonna go play soccer? He also kicks a winning goal - into the wrong goal and the rival team wins. Derp...
This movie could have been a great one if it didn't suffer from atrocious directing and horrible writing.
I think the main thing that stands out is that no one seems to think a thing of a child sprouting up out of the ground (those few who know), and the town's failure to react to a new kid that came out of nowhere. How did they register him for school, then? And after all this, at the end, the couple is given a child to adopt? They should have been locked up in Belleview, if you ask me.
Overall, I am so glad I didn't blow $10 to see this one.
Unless you just want to watch it for the cute factor of CJ Adams, don't waste your time.
Timothy Green, perhaps, is better referred to as a lemon.
"The Odd Life of Timothy Green"
You can find the link on IMDB, I'm sure, but why bother?
The premise of the movie is such: A couple who cannot have children have tried everything, and have finally been told there is no hope. They are devastated. This is where the bad acting begins. That, and the story is told as a flashback while being related to a committee for adoption. Now, after hearing this tale, would YOU give these loons a child?!
So, deciding to move on with life, they write up all the traits their dream child would have and bury the little notes in a box in the garden. It's a drought time, too. And it rains. Only on their property. The box full of notes literally sprouts like a seed and creates the perfect little boy, Timothy, played by CJ Adams. This is the only good thing about the movie. The little darling has a beatific expression on his face for about 94 minutes, and he's cute.
Timothy, however, is different. He has philodendron leaves growing out of both shins, which cannot be cut off. Yeah, it's summer. The leaves are green. As autumn approaches, this perfect child who seemingly popped up out of the cabbage patch is never even investigated by the police, missing persons, nothing. Everyone in the small town just accepts that the Greens now have a child.
Timothy also knows 'nothing'. But he can talk and understand English. He also seems to know that he's naked, and is ashamed of it.
We then move to the cliche of him bonding with the misfits of the small town, and solving all their problems. Every time he does, a leaf turns red/orange and falls off his leg. The person he helped gets this leaf. As you can guess, in the autumn of his life, it's time for him to go once his work is done and he's saved the town from financial ruin and gotten all the oddballs' problems solved. He's used up all his magic, so to speak, and on a dark and stormy night, he vanishes in a flash of lightning. The grieving parents then find the box in the garden again.
The acting is over the top, the characters are unbelievable, the editing is terrible, and the baddies are so poorly written that you want to slap the director and not them.
For instance, the old favorite uncle dies. In fact, Timothy killed him by getting him to laugh so much he had a heart attack. Wide eyed shot of the boy, then CUT, on to the soccer team tryouts. Huh?! This kid doesn't really know anything, uncle just died, and he's gonna go play soccer? He also kicks a winning goal - into the wrong goal and the rival team wins. Derp...
This movie could have been a great one if it didn't suffer from atrocious directing and horrible writing.
I think the main thing that stands out is that no one seems to think a thing of a child sprouting up out of the ground (those few who know), and the town's failure to react to a new kid that came out of nowhere. How did they register him for school, then? And after all this, at the end, the couple is given a child to adopt? They should have been locked up in Belleview, if you ask me.
Overall, I am so glad I didn't blow $10 to see this one.
Unless you just want to watch it for the cute factor of CJ Adams, don't waste your time.
Timothy Green, perhaps, is better referred to as a lemon.
