Saturday Night's Enemas in Rogers, TX
Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 8:38 am
So we were making the annual Christmas trek back to the Midwest. We like driving the blue roads and picking up newspapers from the small towns we go thru. I picked up one in Rogers, a small Texas town. I chucked out the sports section and then the religious section (ie. the Christian section, I mean the Southern Baptist section). There wasnt much left, but one article caught my attention.
A bunch came up with the idea of rotating social get-togethers with the hostess fixin up a big dinner. It comes time for Joe Bob and Mary Sue. It got to be such a big thing that Mary Sue hired Betty from the neighboring ranch to help out.
Mary Sue wanted steak with mushroom, but the price of mushrooms have gone plum outa sight and cost more than Joe Bob makes. She told him about the wanting, but not affording. He told her to go out to the wallow in the south 40 because there were always mushrooms out there. She was afraid theyd be poisonous, but Joe Bob said that he had seen critters eating them for years and they never seemed to hurt none. So Mary Sue hauled herself out there and harvested, but still had her doubts. So she fixed up part of the mess and gave it to Old Shep. Well, Old Shep ate them all up and never seemed the worse for wear, so Mary Sue fixed everything up right perfect like.
All the town dignitaries and wives, upright citizens all, met and enjoyed the steak and mushrooms with all the fixins. They had just finished up and had adjourned to the parlor for dominoes and cards when Betty came in and whispered to Mary Sue that Old Shep was dead. Mary Sue eventually calmed down enough to call Doc Jones and ask for help. Well, after a while the county ambulance comes rolling down road followed by Doc in his old Cadillac. They pull to a stop in front out the ranch house and bring in the countys emergency stomach pump and enema bags. One by one they took the pillars of Rogers society into the bathroom and relieved them from top to bottom of the dream dinner. Doc and the ambulance cowboys finally finished off the last and left. So all of Rogers upper crust was sitting around looking a bit peaked when Betty came in and quietly told Mary Sue, You know, that guy that ran over Old Shep never even stopped.
Have a Good Christmas and New Years, but watch what you eat in this season of indulgence.
A bunch came up with the idea of rotating social get-togethers with the hostess fixin up a big dinner. It comes time for Joe Bob and Mary Sue. It got to be such a big thing that Mary Sue hired Betty from the neighboring ranch to help out.
Mary Sue wanted steak with mushroom, but the price of mushrooms have gone plum outa sight and cost more than Joe Bob makes. She told him about the wanting, but not affording. He told her to go out to the wallow in the south 40 because there were always mushrooms out there. She was afraid theyd be poisonous, but Joe Bob said that he had seen critters eating them for years and they never seemed to hurt none. So Mary Sue hauled herself out there and harvested, but still had her doubts. So she fixed up part of the mess and gave it to Old Shep. Well, Old Shep ate them all up and never seemed the worse for wear, so Mary Sue fixed everything up right perfect like.
All the town dignitaries and wives, upright citizens all, met and enjoyed the steak and mushrooms with all the fixins. They had just finished up and had adjourned to the parlor for dominoes and cards when Betty came in and whispered to Mary Sue that Old Shep was dead. Mary Sue eventually calmed down enough to call Doc Jones and ask for help. Well, after a while the county ambulance comes rolling down road followed by Doc in his old Cadillac. They pull to a stop in front out the ranch house and bring in the countys emergency stomach pump and enema bags. One by one they took the pillars of Rogers society into the bathroom and relieved them from top to bottom of the dream dinner. Doc and the ambulance cowboys finally finished off the last and left. So all of Rogers upper crust was sitting around looking a bit peaked when Betty came in and quietly told Mary Sue, You know, that guy that ran over Old Shep never even stopped.
Have a Good Christmas and New Years, but watch what you eat in this season of indulgence.