Given a response I gave to a certain user (who I hope will read this thread and not comment because I think we both need to see these responses) I've been giving some thought to interactions between eunuchs and their admirers.

I will grant him this - I do not speak for all eunuchs, nor is it my desire to do so. However, I find myself in a position of being very protective of not only myself, but other eunuchs and/or nullos and guys who have had penectomies. I know I find many of the comments and interactions between those who seemingly have zero desire to be a eunuch, but admire and wish to interact to be down right rude, harassing, and otherwise unwanted. For me when these guys come at me constantly I feel like I'm being used for their own amusement, and dammit, I'm a human being, not a zoo animal. These men jack off to us which there is nothing we can do anything about, but they get down right intrusive on us on many occasions. Those of us who are eunuchs are so usually after going through a significant amount of pain, both mentally and physically.

Would these guys who come at us with their comments of "wow, that's hot!" go to a rape victim and say the same things? I know that's overstated, but I think it's generally going in the right direction.

Now there are some eunuchs/nullos/penectomized guys who welcome these advances. I know that castr8edmale is one. My attitude there is if that guy wants the advances, then so be it. However, my experience is that like myself, most other eunuchs do not mind talking with and providing education to these guys that make the advances, but at some point it ceases being about education and becomes simple harassment of eunuchs and sincere wannabes. This is what I saw with the recent thread where I made my rather abrupt comments.

I've had people come at me and in a first conversation say, "Oh that's hot, send me photos and videos..." Umm... hell no! I'm not a porn star and since you want to jack off, xTube is available for your amusement. Please bugger off and leave me alone.

This is the type of stuff I seem to encounter on a daily basis.

That said, this is a long introduction to a couple questions I have for my fellow eunuchs.

1. Where do you feel the line that admirers cross from being simply curious to being rude and unwanted is?

2. Where do they get out of line, and inversely, where do we get out of line in our responses to the unwanted advances?

I hope this is a good thread for eunuchs to educate these folks about what is appropriate and what is not. Again, I would prefer to see only responses from my fellow extremely modified men, not the admirers. I'm hoping this can provide a bit of insight to the admirers as to why many of us react the way we do to them.

--LT

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:20 pm Given a response I gave to a certain user (who I hope will read this thread and not comment because I think we both need to see these responses) I've been giving some thought to interactions between eunuchs and their admirers.

I will grant him this - I do not speak for all eunuchs, nor is it my desire to do so. However, I find myself in a position of being very protective of not only myself, but other eunuchs and/or nullos and guys who have had penectomies. I know I find many of the comments and interactions between those who seemingly have zero desire to be a eunuch, but admire and wish to interact to be down right rude, harassing, and otherwise unwanted. For me when these guys come at me constantly I feel like I'm being used for their own amusement, and dammit, I'm a human being, not a zoo animal. These men jack off to us which there is nothing we can do anything about, but they get down right intrusive on us on many occasions. Those of us who are eunuchs are so usually after going through a significant amount of pain, both mentally and physically.

Would these guys who come at us with their comments of "wow, that's hot!" go to a rape victim and say the same things? I know that's overstated, but I think it's generally going in the right direction.

Now there are some eunuchs/nullos/penectomized guys who welcome these advances. I know that castr8edmale is one. My attitude there is if that guy wants the advances, then so be it. However, my experience is that like myself, most other eunuchs do not mind talking with and providing education to these guys that make the advances, but at some point it ceases being about education and becomes simple harassment of eunuchs and sincere wannabes. This is what I saw with the recent thread where I made my rather abrupt comments.

I've had people come at me and in a first conversation say, "Oh that's hot, send me photos and videos..." Umm... hell no! I'm not a porn star and since you want to jack off, xTube is available for your amusement. Please bugger off and leave me alone.

This is the type of stuff I seem to encounter on a daily basis.

That said, this is a long introduction to a couple questions I have for my fellow eunuchs.

1. Where do you feel the line that admirers cross from being simply curious to being rude and unwanted is?

2. Where do they get out of line, and inversely, where do we get out of line in our responses to the unwanted advances?

I hope this is a good thread for eunuchs to educate these folks about what is appropriate and what is not. Again, I would prefer to see only responses from my fellow extremely modified men, not the admirers. I'm hoping this can provide a bit of insight to the admirers as to why many of us react the way we do to them.

--LT

As one who will become a eunuch this month, I find your comments on target and will remember them.

I seek to not be admired; I seek no admiration. Neither do I seek to be disrespected, abused, or traumatized.

For all I know, I may have learned something that I can share here that someone else may find useful. I have neither need to know that nor need to not know.

For me, it is simple.

Life is.

And I, of my own choosing, choose not to be anyone's "sex object."

Neither can I find fault with people whose lives lead them to regard some other people that way.

Life is sometimes out of line.

Sometimes, when someone does something I experience as hurtful, I share my experience, perhaps by saying, "It hurts me when you do that."

Being truthful seems to encourage some people to escalate what I experience as hurtful.

I may learn of their unresolved hurts that way.

Life is...

Sometimes tragic.

I recently received a PM and the sender was stating they wanted to meet me. No reason why and no more detail than if you are close let's meet. I answered back that I have met people from the EA at organized get togethers and those whom I felt I knew from years of reading their writings. He did not even offer a chance to talk on the phone first. I have zero interest meeting anyone that I have not read a number of posts where I have a sense of who they are.

Oh and the PM's from one member that I blocked who was always asking to hook-up. They have never made the first post and even bothered me in chat. As a rape vicitm my no must mean no. Even in friendships when I find people not respecting my wishes they need to leave my life. My wishes can be something as simple as I need to stay away from dark topics and stay on the sunny side of the street. I recently reached out to someone who asked if they could talk with me. I had a time when I was exhausted and recovering from an injury and asked for a break from contact. The request was ignored and I am still receiving texts that I ignore. All of this is very negative for me and causes me to distrust and withdrawl.

If someone admires me a nice post in my thread would be nice. If I read a members post and the admiration becomes mutual I in the future might enjoy meeting. If we have already met and you find me charming flowers are always nice. I already have my own diamonds. LOL

I can't say about being admired as a eunuch but I can say these things about disabilities and wheelchairs...

a) When someone says: "can I borrow your wheelchair. I've always wanted to be in one." I call the police and try to get away from that person.

b) "did you ever make love to someone with a stump?" or "did you ever make love to a stump?" ... ends my ability to have a sane conversation and I get move away from the mentally ill person who asked.

c) when someone asks: "Does it all still work down there?" I never quite have the presence of mind to say "Not yet, Satan has one place reserved in hell for morons such as you. then he'll have a complete set of total fools..." I usually clam up and try to leave.

c-prime) just like "I'll bet your girlfriend likes oral sex" or anything like that is offensive and quite rude.

d) if someone asks "Did you ever date your nurse?" or the other line "Do you find nurses hot?" considering that my most intimate interaction with nurses have involved major surgery on parts of my body, sex is never on my mind.

e) No, I will not play "chicken" with a shopping cart. Nor do I race shopping carts or go "zoom, zoom" ...

f) I will not run over your toes unless you are stupid enough to stick them under my wheels.

Corollary #1: Standing that close tells me you don't bath certain parts of your anatomy. Get closer to the soap and water.

Corollary #2: If I really wanted to hurt you, I'd have used baseball bat or a golf club and hit you in the head where it might knock some sense into that pathetic thing you call a brain.

g) I am guessing "How did you get hurt" is as personal as "How did you lose your nuts?" ... You're a fucking stranger and I might not want to discuss my innermost desires or stupid accidents with you.

I'm guessing "Why did you want to be a woman or a man" might be just as ignorant.

h) another thrilling conversation preventive: "Gee your arms must be strong..." or that other piece of crap line "they say that if you lose a sense the other senses get more sensitive to compensate." I think the proper answer might be something like "yes, my clairvoyance warned me an absolute jackass was in the room."

As brash and brazen and loud as I can be on the political board, I have a magnificently developed flight response up close and personal.

When does all this get creepy? fast, fast, fast...

I'm sure there are eunuch equivalents to each of these.

How do I tell someone I admire them for their physical oddities?

1) privately, might be an answer.

2) "Gee I think those burn scars that make your skin look like rotting leather are sexy." is really creepy. scares me away.

3) after I know them for an appropriate time and even then, maybe never.

4) asking a hetero couple "What attracted you to him/her?" is a very personal question.

I have said to a transsexual lady "I wish you the best and admire your courage." and left it at that.

I have said to a same sex couple "I wish you the best." when they told me they were a couple.

I'm not a eunuch, but I do admire and respect those who choose to take control of their lives and live as they wish, or were meant to be.

My respect is profound. I may one day seek to follow in your footsteps, but not today.

I'm not the type to prowl the internet looking for porn, or a quick wank. I've never sought the kind of things you find distasteful. I find the idea of what you describe as disgusting as you do.

Having read through so many of the stories, (That I would have never before but now must in my capacity as a proofreader.) I see the stereotypes and expectations repeated again and again.

"The eunuch seeks castration for sexual release and excitement."

"The eunuch is a human prop in a sex fantasy."

"The eunuch is flawed as a person, less than a person, and is to be dominated like a slave."

"The eunuch is a sex fiend that needs to be controlled by someone else."

"The eunuch exists for someone else's pleasure."

Many of the stories avoid these stereotypes. They are the ones I cling to. They are why I was so passionate about the return of the stories. They help us heal, and express who we truly are to the world. The ones that perpetuate myths and stereotypes shame me.

I think we are often guilty of perpetuating our own stereotypes. That too is something we should choose to avoid.

The stereotypes perpetuate how this community is viewed and treated. This is a cause that in the last few months has become apparent to me, and has changed me for the better. As much as I seek to be viewed as a valid person, so to do the eunuchs of this community.

You are a person no different from me. Two little globs of gristle do not make the man.

I hope this thread grows to over a thousand posts. It is a subject worth enlightened discussion.

I fielded numerous PMs and e-mails following my recent orchiectomy. I was fortunate in that they were all seeking information and guidance, and giving well-wishes.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:20 pm 1. Where do you feel the line that admirers cross from being simply curious to being rude and unwanted is?

2. Where do they get out of line, and inversely, where do we get out of line in our responses to the unwanted advances?

My answer is perhaps a bit nebulous, but I think that is because there is no definitive answer to these questions. The line in question is somewhat like a river. It really depends on where you are on the river and how you feel about being on the river. Other people find themselves at different points on the river. Most are on the opposite bank looking across.

Maybe this isn't really helpful but I think the best that can be done is for each person to define the line for themselves. To state clearly where that line is. And for others to respect that line.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:20 pm Would these guys who come at us with their comments of "wow, that's hot!" go to a rape victim and say the same things? I know that's overstated, but I think it's generally going in the right direction.

I'm not sure this is a constructive analogy. Rape will always be a crime inflicted upon another person, where as there are many ways and reasons that people choose to become eunuchs or nulos, or to change their sex to mach their gender. Additionally the comment "wow, that's hot!" may not always be objectifying or diminishing. Having said that I can also see that it could just be exactly that. Again it depends on where you are coming from and where they are coming from, and most of all the manner in which the comment was made. This is sometimes quite easy to misread in a text only environment. It is hard to appreciate just how much information lost through the keyboard.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:20 pm I hope this is a good thread for eunuchs to educate these folks about what is appropriate and what is not.

It is a very good thread.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:20 pm Again, I would prefer to see only responses from my fellow extremely modified men, not the admirers. I'm hoping this can provide a bit of insight to the admirers as to why many of us react the way we do to them.

I do respect your wishes, but I feel compelled to comment. You only be hearing half the conversation. I myself am not a eunuch, though it is not for lack of trying. I will spare you the gory details. But more importantly your thread touches on issues that go way beyond men or women objectifying eunuchs and nullos. You have touched on something far more fundamental and universal. These are questions that go beyond sex and gender.

jemagirl (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:27 pm I do respect your wishes, but I feel compelled to comment. You only be hearing half the conversation. I myself am not a eunuch, though it is not for lack of trying. I will spare you the gory details. But more importantly your thread touches on issues that go way beyond men or women objectifying eunuchs and nullos. You have touched on something far more fundamental and universal. These are questions that go beyond sex and gender.

You've given a very good response, and you're a person sitting on the other side of my fence that I find has the ability to be objective. You've made an excellent point that the line will probably be different for each person. However, even at the risk of only hearing "half of the story", the idea was to have people who are actually eunuchs and serious wannabes discuss what they find appropriate and inappropriate so those wishing to be in contact with us can have a general idea of what is o.k. and what is taboo when talking with us so they have a baseline for starting a conversation with us so as not to offend us at the start.

--LT

clip..............

Losethem (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:20 pm 1. Where do you feel the line that admirers cross from being simply curious to being rude and unwanted is?

2. Where do they get out of line, and inversely, where do we get out of line in our responses to the unwanted advances?

clip ...................

--LT

It seems that when they become rude, and depends on the place, it will take more to cross the curious to being rude line in a gay bar than in Wallmart, but the world is full of self centered A@#h$%#s.

After the line is crossed either some one leaves or gits hurt.

I what to have done, is what castr8edmale had done, and it's for me first. But it not going be general public knowledge, and once it's done knowledge of it will only be here at at eunch.org