In my continuing campaign to besmirch the good name of Pahrump, I was taken back by a recent stop in Kingman, AZ (I know. Sorry Deacon Blue. It was sort of a last minute trip and it did not make sense to call. But to any others, I would recommend giving him a call. He really is an interesting guy.)

Anyway, here is a sampling of the front page stories.

"Man with mustache robs downtown Wells Fargo." (I am keeping discreetly quiet about my town, where two guys a couple of years ago while passing thru town decided to stop at a bank and make an unauthorized withdrawal. They worked for a moving company and their get away vehicle was a moving van. Police caught them.)

"GV (Golden Valley - the low end suburb over the mountain and down the hill that started as the snake pit for unauthorized chasing ass) man collects 4th DUI in 2010".

Those actually were offset by the feel good story, "Events set to honor 9-11 patriots."

Oookay Mr. Deacon Blue. I am waiting with baited breath for you to leap to the defense of your fair town. Please, just don't ask the same of me.

Kingman is clearly and without question the scientific, technical and cultural center of the universe, you know, like the center of a merry go round, all the centrifugal force pulls all these things AWAY from Kingman.

To our credit, we have an area sometimes called "birdland" because many of the streets are named after birds. It was for the longest time undeveloped, and poorer people often bought there first starter home, that is a trailer or shack of some sort, out in "birdland." Then, "meth happened," today it is more commonly known as "tweaker town," and I do sincerely say that "Kingman is to methyamphetamine what Napa Valley is to fine wine."

Also, our law enforcement here is very very picky and selective about just who gets charged and prosecuted. For example, in those other (lower class) communities, the police will arrest almost any sort of riff raff, not here in Kingman. Here, we aspire to a much finer grade of criminal class, we only arrest the people who can afford to pay big fines and pay lots of lawyer fees. We are absolutely NOT interested in arresting any of those "indigents," and our police want no part of those ruffians who carry weapons, spit, fight or speak harshly to police officers, they prefer to arrest civilized people here. So, take my advice if you are planning to commit a crime in Kingman, wear the filthiest rags and forget about personal hygiene for a month, the police in Kingman will NOT allow you into their clean patrol cars to take you in. IF however, you have a JOB or any sort of regular income, you better be careful not to spit on the sidewalk here, like the old prospectors said "there's gold in them thar hills," our lawyers, prosecutors and judges know where to find their sort of "gold" too.