As I get older and older I get more and more mail about prepaid funerals. Today I received yet another advertisement from a funeral home offering to help with my final arrangements.

Well I have already made my plans.

1. No religious ceremony.

2. Cremation

3. Open bar

Since I would rather buy my friends drinks I even thought of a way to forgo the urn. I have decided that my ashes should be equally distributed among my friends inside of little favor bags like the ones passed out at wedding receptions. This will allow everyone to spread my ashes in a place they find appropriate. Sure some will be at the adult bookstores. Some should be scattered on the flower beds of McDonalds' restaurants. A little at a winery would be fitting. Some may flush them down the toilet to remind me of the high school swirlies.

So for me I would rather not put money in the ground but pour it down my friends.

I could not agree with you more.

My brother said at our fathers funeral that "funerals were barbaric" and added when I die get rid of me in the cheeps manner possible, NO FUNERAL.

He died several years after that and as per his wish, he was cremated, his partner made a pouch for his ashes and when summer arrived we had a party, he got one last ride on his hog down to the ocean and we each scooped out some and added him to the coastal waters. We went back and had a party in his honor. Best send off I can ever remember.

When I go my kids know, I am to be cremated, no funeral, and there is the side of this mountain in California just north of Yosemite that over looks a lake, they will need to do a bit of hiking but its not to bad. Then have a party.

River

We will all come and hold a "Farewell Riverwind MOM" and drink wine over your ashes!

We'll cremate you with a large bag of cat food, too.

Damn, and here I was hoping we could have you stuffed and mounted on the mantle!

Good grief, Tugon, I'd be concerned!

Why the hell are they sending you this stuff?

I plan a simple ceremony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-BLYacRq0Q

and a neon epitaph

"Show me a man

with both feet planted on solid earth

and I will show you a man

who cannot get his pants off."

Paolo wrote: Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:55 pm Good grief, Tugon, I'd be concerned!

Why the hell are they sending you this stuff?

Just the local shops thinking I would need an extra large casket. Adding those extra charges gets them all excited. Of course I am getting almost as much mail from places selling hearing aids. Huh, what? Just wait until you turn 50. I have a restraining order against AARP.

lol

OK reminds me of a john denver song, "all I want is a simple funeral at forest lawn"

River

-Wonder if I could find a rocket scientist somewhere? Burial by outer space!

When my mother died I was not able to attend so I had her cremated

and stored at the mortuary. A few months later when I was able to pick

up her ashes I invited 40 of her friends to a remember lunch.

So if you have the funds you might consider leaving a keg of beer or

some such for the next MOM.

Sweetpickle (imported) wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:25 pm So if you have the funds you might consider leaving a keg of beer or

some such for the next MOM.

Not so quick sweetpickle! I plan on attending the next MoM in person and not in spirit. Boy, somebody is trying to rush me.