• 1 Month in

Posted: **Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:20 pm**

Over a month ago I asked her for support for buying anti-androgens and estrogens in germany.

Everything went well so far. I've ordered Spiro and Progynova and started out on 100mg Spiro and added 2x2mg PRogynova the second week.

First thing I noticed was that after a few days my ejaculate got more clearer. The funny thing is that it looks like that the total sperm count has not receeded but that more prostate (?) fluid is coming out.

My Libido hasn't changed much but my urge to masturbate has slightly reduced. (I think there wasn't one single day in the last years on which I had not masturbated more than one time)

I think my erections are not as hard as usual but that could also be my imagination. I also noticed that my balls don't hand down much anymore.

The second week on estrogen my nipples began to become painfully hard. That along with the constant restroom-running from the spiro is the only annoying thing so far. I feel great even my appetite became much better (although the reason for this could be that I quit smoking when I started this)

I wouldn't have thought that this nipple-pain would be so harsh. It'S almost like I never had nipples before and now they are suddenly there rubbing against everything I wear no matter how smooth it is.

They look a little more puffy and under one nipple I can feel a tiny hard knob but I don't know if this was there before.

This week I started to take 6mg of Progynova but don't know if I should up the spiro too.

One the one hand I like the things happening to my body but one the other hand I'm afraid of shrinking my penis permanently or become infertile.

I had infrequent morning erections for the last weeks but only a two and a half

in the last one and spontaneous erections didn't occur (although I masturbated so often in the past that spontaneous erection didn'T happen only infrequently) Is this a sign that nocturnal erections have subsided?

Posted: **Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:13 pm**

Taking Estrogen, or-anti androgen can cause infertility. The longer you take the drugs the chance of infertility changes to you will become infertile (this happens as soon as 6 months depending on the person maybe a year).

"

butcherbaby (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:20 pm The second week on estrogen my nipples began to become painfully hard

" this is the start of breast growth. The breast growth will not go away when you stop taking estrogen, so make sure this is what you wish!

_g

Posted: **Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:21 pm**

_g (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:13 pm Taking Estrogen, or-anti androgen can cause infertility. The longer you take the drugs the chance of infertility changes to you will become infertile (this happens as soon as 6 months depending on the person maybe a year).

"

butcherbaby (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:20 pm The second week on e
_g (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:13 pm strogen my nipples began to become painfully hard
" this is the start of breast growth. The breast growth will not go away when you st

op taking estrogen, so make sure this is what you wish!

_g

I would take the breasts and not worry about the infirtility.

Posted: **Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:45 am**

In the grand scheme of things, 100 mg daily of Spironolactone won't have a great effect on eliminating your testosterone. It is a very weak antiandrogen and doses are listed as up to 400 mg/day so you are taking a weak dose of a weak med. If you are serious about using meds to chemically castrate yourself, you need something stronger (and more expensive) like Depo Provera or Androcur and numerous others. But if you are satisfied just tweaking your T level a bit lower the 100 mg/day of Spiro will suffice.

Posted: **Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:06 am**

It'S a weird situation I'm in.

If my social environment wouldn't get comprosmised in a negative way I would initially go for the hormones and live as a shemale (I use this therm because I'm perfectly fine with my penis and don't hate ot or anything).

But on the other hand I crave for a female body since I started puberty. Additionally I consider my sexual orientation as straight (as a male).

BUT I WANT BREASTS!

Since this bothers me so much and keeps me form living my live without constant hesitation on what I should do I thought that I try taking hormones and blockers.

I thought that when my longings are driven by my male sex drive I would quickly loose interest but until now nothing has changed much.

I definitely lost a bit of my overall horniness but it's more like masturbation seems not to be the top priority anymore when I'm bored. From a pragmatic point of view this is even a plus considered the extra time I got since I don't masturbate that much anymore but it still hhurts my male ego a littlte bit - I think I'm almost shizoprenic about this...

But the curiosity of what would happen next and how fast is just driving me crazy.

I upped the spiro yesterday to 150mg but regretted it today since this conxtant run for the restroom and drinking is so annyoing.

On the other hand I feel great not depressed or anything that should have been expected. I bit calmer maybe but I feel better somehow. I'm not reflecting as much about everything or not so intensive. Even my doubts seem not to be as strong as I started it'S just that out in publicity I'm so fucking paranoid that anyone would notice that anything is going on altough I know that this is impossible.

But is there something that I can do agains these sore & stiff nipples? I put a moisturizing cream on them but that didn't help much. It's nice to feel them (it's almost that my nipples were non-existent before the hormones) but not to such an extent and I don't want to put on a bra or something - that would be ridiculous at this stage.

I am a little afraid of becoming infertile or permanetly impotent altough I don't think that I wan't kids anytime soon.

It'S still no problem to get off and my orgasms are ungchanged perhaps more intense that before but that could also be due to the greater intervals I do masturbate now but my semen seems clearer. But as far as I know under six months it's not very likely that I would get permanently seterile or impotent.

Edit.:

@clysmaniac:

typed the above before I saw your post. I'm perfectly fine with that. I would love to have breasts and a working penis although this castration-fetish is surely interesting but I think it's not that fun anymore when one is relly castrated...

Posted: **Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:41 am**

I hope you will talk to a Gender Therapist and your doctor about this before going forward much longer. If the changes feel "right" you want to continue but it would be so much better done under a doctors care. And if the changes are just a fetish you don't want to render yourself sterile and have to deal with unwanted breast growth etc.

I think your combo is hitting on a pretty female mix of hormones. I think some transpeople shut down too much testosterone and loose sex drive. Its not supposed to be about becoming "asexual" just the opposite sex. *I think? :-\

Posted: **Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:36 pm**

butcherbaby (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:06 am It'S a weird situation I'm in.

If my social environment wouldn't get comprosmised in a negative way I would initially go for the hormones and live as a shemale (I use this therm because I'm perfectly fine with my penis and don't hate ot or anything).

But on the other hand I crave for a female body since I started puberty. Additionally I consider my sexual orientation as straight (as a male).

BUT I WANT BREASTS!

clip..

I am a little afraid of becoming infertile or permanetly impotent altough I don't think that I wan't kids anytime soon.

clip....

There is always the Sperm bank. Use the bank and when it's time to have children then you have your sperm, but there are fees and costs. Taking hormones there is a chance of becoming infertile. The chance is less for low levels of estrogen and short time periods of use, as high levels can shut down the testicles along with long periods of use.

Posted: **Thu Jan 21, 2010 1:35 pm**

butcherbaby (imported) wrote: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:06 am It'S a weird situation I'm in.

If my social environment wouldn't get comprosmised in a negative way I would initially go for the hormones and live as a shemale (I use this therm because I'm perfectly fine with my penis and don't hate ot or anything).

But on the other hand I crave for a female body since I started puberty. Additionally I consider my sexual orientation as straight (as a male).

BUT I WANT BREASTS!

Since this bothers me so much and keeps me form living my live without constant hesitation on what I should do I thought that I try taking hormones and blockers.

I thought that when my longings are driven by my male sex drive I would quickly loose interest but until now nothing has changed much.

I definitely lost a bit of my overall horniness but it's more like masturbation seems not to be the top priority anymore when I'm bored. From a pragmatic point of view this is even a plus considered the extra time I got since I don't masturbate that much anymore but it still hhurts my male ego a littlte bit - I think I'm almost shizoprenic about this...

But the curiosity of what would happen next and how fast is just driving me crazy.

I upped the spiro yesterday to 150mg but regretted it today since this conxtant run for the restroom and drinking is so annyoing.

On the other hand I feel great not depressed or anything that should have been expected. I bit calmer maybe but I feel better somehow. I'm not reflecting as much about everything or not so intensive. Even my doubts seem not to be as strong as I started it'S just that out in publicity I'm so fucking paranoid that anyone would notice that anything is going on altough I know that this is impossible.

But is there something that I can do agains these sore & stiff nipples? I put a moisturizing cream on them but that didn't help much. It's nice to feel them (it's almost that my nipples were non-existent before the hormones) but not to such an extent and I don't want to put on a bra or something - that would be ridiculous at this stage.

I am a little afraid of becoming infertile or permanetly impotent altough I don't think that I wan't kids anytime soon.

It'S still no problem to get off and my orgasms are ungchanged perhaps more intense that before but that could also be due to the greater intervals I do masturbate now but my semen seems clearer. But as far as I know under six months it's not very likely that I would get permanently seterile or impotent.

Edit.:

@clysmaniac:

typed the above before I saw your post. I'm perfectly fine with that. I would love to have breasts and a working penis although this castration-fetish is surely interesting but I think it's not that fun anymore when one is relly castrated...

As MrT pointed out you should see a gender therapist. Sounds like you have a lot of fetish in you thinking. Do not hear you saying that you want all the effects of castration. You can not pick and choose what effects you want or do not want. You will get them all.

Posted: **Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:56 am**

I'm currently looking for a way to see a therapist. The problem is though that during mid-term I'm at my parents home so I don't know if I should see a therapist there or not. (but I' sure it won't hurt when I see one as fast as possible no matter if I have to switch in the future)

I went down to 2mg Progynova to slow down feminization since my nipples feel and look very puffy now and I can feel lumps under them.

My libido decreased a little further. I'm no longer obsessed with masturbation which is good. I still have the urge and sexual thoughts but it's not as demanding as in the past.

When I masturbate my erection is softer. Just around climax it gets as hard as it was before. My ejaculate changes almost everytime. I have everything from a few watery drops up to sticky, forceful sprays of semi-whte fluid.

It's not that I dislike the changes so far but I don't want anything permanent for the moment but also want to stop my body from furhter masculinization before I know in which direction I will finally go.

I'm still not sure about the potassium/hyperkalemia-thing. So far I had no problems but should I avoid everything from salad, fruits, vegetables or is it safe to eat a littel salad or an apple?

I'm also confused with the salt-intakte. Should I avoid salt altogether or just certain salts?

When should I take the spiro/estrogen? I started with splitting up one 100mg-spiro-pill along with 2mg progynova after breakfast and the other half of the spiro befor I went to bed.

This had the effect that I had to pee almost every night and since I take a complete 100mg-spiro-pill in the morning it got better.

When would be the ideal time for taking these meds?

Posted: **Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:41 pm**

I got so much useful information out of this board so I thought I share some of my experiences of the last months:

- I'm currently on 2x100mg Spiro + 3x2mg Progynova

Feeling good so far. I had rapid breast development especially in the last weeks. Thankfully the frequendt urination subsided and I am not experiencing any mood swings, loss of energy etc. quite the contrary I'm sleeping better then ever.

I enjoy the softer skin, less body hair and beard growth etc.

My libido went down but not as far as I expected it at least psychologically. My desire got damped a bit, I think less about sex and the urge to masturbate isn't very strong now but physically things did change much more noticeable:

- my left testicle got noticeably smaller alongside with my whole package and penis. I'm not sure if it's really smaller or if it's just the flaccid state. Erections are softer and therefore smaller but I don't know if my skin has already lost its flexibility

- no spontaneous, moring- or nocturnal erections (as far as I can tell)

- I only can reach climax with long intervals of manual stimulation but my cock only gets hard around climax

- orgasms feel less intense. Feels more like a pleasant chill than a intense release

- ejaculate got completely clear and watery - mostly persisting only of a few drops

I like the changes so far but as the temperatures getting higher I'm thinking about ways to get through the summer without anyone noticing. I think I could wear shirts with binding down my breasts but I've heard that this is not good for their development...

I'm just not sure about the right time for my outing to my parents. I'm dependend from their financial support in my studies and I thought that I'll wait until next summer when I will have finished university.

I'm thinking about reducing the dosages over the summer to slow down breast development but I'm not sure if this could harm further development.

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