Life, love and leisure
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:06 pm
I recalled a horrific incident. Myself and a friend were hauling my canoe out to a lake. With he on one end and I on the other, suddenly he pulled hard, jerking the canoe from my grip. It fell to the trail as I flew forward. With legs splayed out I landed hard and centered onto the under spine of the vessel. My balls collided with such force onto the boats fiberglass covered backbone I thought I rupture a testicle. That Sunday morn I sctreamed so loud as to scare the fish. I upset two old gals sittinjg on lawn chairs, their poles stuck out on the bank.
And here are the others
Swinging on a rope swing...doin' the "spider" with sis. She jumped on top. It was the story of my life all over. The balls were in the wrong place at the time. They must have got stuck in the rope. I just remember collapsing in a pile of leaves, eyes full of tears, just trying to breath. (This incidently is the age, about 11, they should have just been removed!) She was having fun I was crying.
Loading a speaker in the USO...a seven foot tall speaker. Going down a ramp, speaker fell forward picking up our favorite hero, similar result as to the canoe, see above. Cowboy up! Straddled that speaker, then sat out the load out on the loading dock before seeing the doc. An ultrasound for possible ruptured testicle rounded out my late nite.
And finally, in college got involved with a lesbian...every guys dream right???? WRONG!!! She happens to be the former lover of a classmate. (Classmate and lesbian lover were embroiled in a fight over a rent free apartment. The two took care of the old gal who owned the duplex.) After a beer downtown, off to the apartment, lesbian and I. Once in bed, she pulls out a device with dead batteries, some sort of sex toy, some kind of massager, a rechargeable handheld unit with a thick ass black umbilical exiting the base winding its way around clothes piles before connecting with the source. She throws the switch. The gyrating manic head looks like a young sea urchin at an old Metalica concert. It winds up to a furious velocity, I was mesmerized. Years in construction should have alarmed me as to this thing pulling some serious amperage. It probably drew enough energy to power a small Sawzall. All I see is sweet pussy when I shoulda been thinking wicked ass. Wasn't gonna let no Made in China, fully recycleable, little girly sex toy scare me from that sweet little mit, no way. With wrist in tremor, she plants this monster, now in the full fits of a grand mal electronic siezure, firmly on my balls. The soft rubber grabed my still softer sack. The testicles sandwiched between higher tissue had no choice but to fall in sych with the electronic head. They were crushed, plummeled, vibrated and jerked all at once. THE PAIN WAS HORRENDOUS! I just recall the severe pain, and through it all...feeling taught cords. Cords so tight, they prevented the balls from completeing the amazing stroke of that awful evil god forsaken creation! I needed another beer and a smoke.
...three or four close calls.
chilli-
And here are the others
Swinging on a rope swing...doin' the "spider" with sis. She jumped on top. It was the story of my life all over. The balls were in the wrong place at the time. They must have got stuck in the rope. I just remember collapsing in a pile of leaves, eyes full of tears, just trying to breath. (This incidently is the age, about 11, they should have just been removed!) She was having fun I was crying.
Loading a speaker in the USO...a seven foot tall speaker. Going down a ramp, speaker fell forward picking up our favorite hero, similar result as to the canoe, see above. Cowboy up! Straddled that speaker, then sat out the load out on the loading dock before seeing the doc. An ultrasound for possible ruptured testicle rounded out my late nite.
And finally, in college got involved with a lesbian...every guys dream right???? WRONG!!! She happens to be the former lover of a classmate. (Classmate and lesbian lover were embroiled in a fight over a rent free apartment. The two took care of the old gal who owned the duplex.) After a beer downtown, off to the apartment, lesbian and I. Once in bed, she pulls out a device with dead batteries, some sort of sex toy, some kind of massager, a rechargeable handheld unit with a thick ass black umbilical exiting the base winding its way around clothes piles before connecting with the source. She throws the switch. The gyrating manic head looks like a young sea urchin at an old Metalica concert. It winds up to a furious velocity, I was mesmerized. Years in construction should have alarmed me as to this thing pulling some serious amperage. It probably drew enough energy to power a small Sawzall. All I see is sweet pussy when I shoulda been thinking wicked ass. Wasn't gonna let no Made in China, fully recycleable, little girly sex toy scare me from that sweet little mit, no way. With wrist in tremor, she plants this monster, now in the full fits of a grand mal electronic siezure, firmly on my balls. The soft rubber grabed my still softer sack. The testicles sandwiched between higher tissue had no choice but to fall in sych with the electronic head. They were crushed, plummeled, vibrated and jerked all at once. THE PAIN WAS HORRENDOUS! I just recall the severe pain, and through it all...feeling taught cords. Cords so tight, they prevented the balls from completeing the amazing stroke of that awful evil god forsaken creation! I needed another beer and a smoke.
...three or four close calls.
chilli-