Hello all. I thought I should really get some more advice on the subject of castration before I get any more heavily into it. I have all my life wanted to be castrated my testicles just feel foreign to me and also I get alot of pain from them (dont worry this too I have just always had?)

I have now got to a point in my life where I see I must remove them in order to just get by... They really bring me down and I am growing increasingly antisocial with my problems and cut off. I have tried to discuss my feelings with my GP and a psychologist with no great out come. So reluctantly I see I must deal with things myself. I have been trying to crush my testicle cords but with no luck Im begining to think they are indestructable. So last week I bought a elastrator, however since reading many posts here I have grown increasingly concerned with this method. I live in England and would find it hard to see Dr Kimmel. I am however very determind and I must remove them quickly please HELP ME !! I would just like any advice or help on this subject. If the testicles are removed a day after banding can you still get tetinus or any other problems. I have found the pain not too bad actually so this doesnt concern me but also know its easy to get blood clots so it is only really advisable to go this route if you are serious !! Any advice would be great-Thanks guys.

Self harm is a fast way to get locked up in a mental ward! Don't do it. Elasticators work well for animals. They can't tell you how much this hurts and thus it works but ouch. Plus there is the issue with infection and so on. Other "animal" based ways of doing this simply don't work. Human Cords don't "crush" like most animal cords. All your doing it making your pain problems worse.

If you have chronic pain (for real) and this is the issue I can relate. Been there.

Talk first to your GP and get refered to a pain doctor. Once they can shut off the pain take a few steps back and see if that solves the issue. If your not in pain do you REALLY want them taken out? Along with the need for hormone replacement (for life) sterility and other possible issues?

If not start talking to the shrink again and be specific about how you have been tempted to do this removal on your own. Talk about the core motives and why this is important to you. Figure that out before you make changes that can't be undone.

If the pain is not resolved by the various forms of treatment. Google Orchialgia you may find that you really do need to ponder having an orchiectomy. Finding a surgeon who is able to do that right (not kimmel) means doing some legwork. Calling a few places that teach Urology and talking to them about the treatments you've tried and what your after.

If it gets to that point PM me and I'll give you some suggestions that your surgeon might want to consider to make the surgery work better. Or look at previous posts about Orchialgia.

You've received some great advice from MRT, hope you heed it. I realize that sometimes all of us do things to ourselves that we regret and the compulsion to be castrated can overwhelm us, but you must resist the urges/temptations to castrate yourself. If you continue to crush your cords you might cause more problems than you're prepared to accept or deal with, the cords are extremely tough and resilient.

Hey ya yeah thanks MRT but to be honest my problem with castration has nothing to do with the pain in my testicles, I have a very high pain threshold. The desire to be castrated for me comes mostly from my transexual side and although I know such things should not be done by yourself I need to be free. I have lived so long in a body that I hate that to be honest all the pain in the world wouldnt stop me. I really do feel grateful to have had your replies so far, and I would love to hear from more of you. So I dont want to appear as though I am not listening to it. I have been sectioned before as I used to smoke alot of cannabis and drink all the time to avoid my problems, my parents got worried as I couldnt work or go out or do anything in public yes the drugs knocked my confidence but this mostly came from the fact that having such problems alienates you so much from other people. Although I was out in 3 days, classed as 'normal' nothing changed for me, in reality it just was taken that I wasnt messed up. So with that I went to see my GP told him out right that I would take things into my own hands he did not care. I submitted to this and saw a psychologist who had no idea about people with such problems and I just stopped seeing him. Im so sorry if I sound desperate but I am...!

The NHS doesn't have a very good track record of dealing properly with trans people. There are SOME who are very good, however. You will need to do a bit of research to find someone near enough to where you live. There are also support groups in the UK who can help you to find the right doctors and psychologists to approach. Some of the other members of the Archive can probably give you some suggestions to help you find a group.

I'm on the other side of the "pond," so I'm probably too far away to be of much help, but I will try to do some research for you.

What part of the UK do you live in?

Here are two quickly found resources for LONDON. Both are members of the World Professional Association for Transgender Health and are very active in the field. If you are near London, either would be a good resource for you. They are listed in the directory as working specifically with trans people.

Dr. Andrew Davies

West London Mental Health NHS Trust

6 Hyde Road, Richmond

London TW10 6DU

Phone: 0774 815 3304

Dr. Richard J. Curtis

Transhealth

3rd Floor North

25 Wimpole Street

London W1G 8GL

Phone: 0207 631 3164

...

darthbra (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:37 pm The desire to be castrated for me comes mostly from my transexual side and although I know such things should not be done by yourself I need to be free. I have lived so long in a body that I hate that to be honest all the pain in the world wouldnt stop me. ...Im so sorry if I sound desperate but I am...!

Hi darthbra,

I am a MtF transsexual and I understand your need to be free. I also understand feeling very alone in the world because of your gender identity.

You do not need to apologize for sounding, and being, desperate. You are being very open about how you feel and that's important. If I were in your situation and had seen so many professionals who just did not understand me, I would feel desperate, too. That does not mean there is no hope although it can feel that way.

Have you thought of your long-term desires? For instance, do you think you will want GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery, sometimes called SRS)? You may want to leave your options open for later surgery. That likely means not performing your own castration. Later GRS surgery can be complicated by damage to the scrotum or be more of a problem if it is missing. You will put your health at serious risk if you try to perform your own castration by any method.

I am in the US so I cannot recommend anyone for you to see. I know how difficult it is for some trans people here in the US to find knowledgeable and caring professionals. I urge you to hang in there and keep searching until you find the people with the knowledge to help you.

Hugs,

Danya

Darthbra,

Please listen carefully to the real friends you have here.

Danya especially is blessed with sensitive wisdom. Read and admire her lovely and brave chronicle of transition.

Many commenters here at EA are inspirations to me for reasons that have nothing to do with genitalia.

Since you have a high pain threshold, you also likely have a high patience threshold. Patiently and carefully find the right and safe solution you need.

Thank you for sharing your intimate thoughts, and thanks to the infinitely wise EA members here who are giving you more experienced advice and comfort than I will ever be qualified to give.

Wishing you the peace and comfort of sincere friends,

-NN

NHS has a very straightforward approach for helping people who are transexual. You just managed to meet the wrong therapist. Use your energy to get together with an expert in GID and move forward to your goal. Its quite true that trying to do this yourself will only set you back or make it difficult or impossible to do properly and I'm sure you don't want to do that.

You might want to explore anti androgen drugs and try female hormone replacement before you do anything that might be tragic and harmful. If that suits you there will be some female physical changes that result from that and the anti-androgen drugs will render your testicles incapable of making male levels of testosterone. You can work on surgery etc later but do lots of reading and talk to other people who are male to female transexuals they can advise you much better then I.

darthbra (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:37 pm Hey ya yeah thanks MRT but to be honest my problem with castration has nothing to do with the pain in my testicles, I have a very high pain threshold. The desire to be castrated for me comes mostly from my transexual side and although I know such things should not be done by yourself I need to be free. I have lived so long in a body that I hate that to be honest all the pain in the world wouldnt stop me. I really do feel grateful to have had your replies so far, and I would love to hear from more of you. So I dont want to appear as though I am not listening to it. I have been sectioned before as I used to smoke alot of cannabis and drink all the time to avoid my problems, my parents got worried as I couldnt work or go out or do anything in public yes the drugs knocked my confidence but this mostly came from the fact that having such problems alienates you so much from other people. Although I was out in 3 days, classed as 'normal' nothing changed for me, in reality it just was taken that I wasnt messed up. So with that I went to see my GP told him out right that I would take things into my own hands he did not care. I submitted to this and saw a psychologist who had no idea about people with such problems and I just stopped seeing him. Im so sorry if I sound desperate but I am...!

Thank you so much Jesus and Danya (MrT and Hash) . You guys have been so kind to have replied to my thread, I had no idea that other people could be so selfless and genuine towards others in the way you have helped me. Any second thoughts I may have had about joining the EA have been completly washed away ! Thank you Jesus for spending your own time trying to source a psychologist I will be contacting them.

I know that for someone as myself I probably should not try to go ahead with castration as I do very much want SRS in the future and understand that it can cause shrinkage to your area and give less material to work with, but I have just got increasingly desperate as my life has gone on. I think that whilst I have been on female hormones for about a year the level of testosterone in my system hinders any real change, it did make me feel better for awhile but then it all seemed to little too late. I would very much like to explore the possability of taking an anti-androgen as maybe this may help to test any feelings I have whilst strong I think that Danya is right I should try to leave things intact down there. Can anyone please recommended anywhere that I can purchase such things from I have heard of the In House Pharmacy but are there any others that are better ? Thank you once again everyone ! It is all I can do these days to even fall alseep with myself my self hatred effects me that much.