The Best of Late Night...
Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 7:53 am
Yesterday at a big campaign rally, Sarah Palin drew a crowd of 60,000 people. After hearing about it, Joe Biden got new glasses and a boob job.
-Conan O'Brien
John McCain wants to postpone Fridays presidential debate. And, he has temporarily suspended his campaign . . . until hes ahead in the polls. Right after he announced that, Sarah Palin said, Thats OK I dont really need him, anyway.
-Jay Leno
Yesterday, President Bush gave a speech on the economic crisis. The title of Bush's speech: "Two More Months and It Ain't My Problem."
-Conan O'Brien
Clay Aiken is on the cover of People magazine announcing that hes gay. This on the heels of last weeks People shocking cover: Ruben Studdard announced hes black.
-Jimmy Kimmel
More bad news today, from President Bush: Remember those rebate checks from a few months ago? He wants them back.
-Jay Leno
Don Rickles and Kathy Griffin presented an award last night. Its great to see that grizzled old timer still get the laughs. And Rickles is funny, too.
-Craig Ferguson
Barack Obama said today that the $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. He said that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fundraisers to come up with that kind of money.
-Jay Leno
The past several days, President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout, and today a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Bush got upset and said, "Why does everyone always spell in front of me?"
-Conan O'Brien
Autumn arrived on schedule . . . at least theres one thing Bush hasnt screwed up.
-David Letterman
Sarah Palin was in New York meeting foreign leaders at the U.N. Assembly. She was very impressed with all the landmarks in New York City. As she was driving over the Hudson River, she said, Wow your bridges actually go somewhere.
-Jay Leno
All these world leaders, while they are in New York City attending the General Assembly, are doing some shopping. The Japanese premier, for example, got a great deal on Morgan Stanley.
-David Letterman
Bill Clinton was on The View yesterday. It was a frustrating appearance for Clinton it turns out the pretty one is a conservative.
-Jay Leno
-Conan O'Brien
John McCain wants to postpone Fridays presidential debate. And, he has temporarily suspended his campaign . . . until hes ahead in the polls. Right after he announced that, Sarah Palin said, Thats OK I dont really need him, anyway.
-Jay Leno
Yesterday, President Bush gave a speech on the economic crisis. The title of Bush's speech: "Two More Months and It Ain't My Problem."
-Conan O'Brien
Clay Aiken is on the cover of People magazine announcing that hes gay. This on the heels of last weeks People shocking cover: Ruben Studdard announced hes black.
-Jimmy Kimmel
More bad news today, from President Bush: Remember those rebate checks from a few months ago? He wants them back.
-Jay Leno
Don Rickles and Kathy Griffin presented an award last night. Its great to see that grizzled old timer still get the laughs. And Rickles is funny, too.
-Craig Ferguson
Barack Obama said today that the $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. He said that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fundraisers to come up with that kind of money.
-Jay Leno
The past several days, President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout, and today a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Bush got upset and said, "Why does everyone always spell in front of me?"
-Conan O'Brien
Autumn arrived on schedule . . . at least theres one thing Bush hasnt screwed up.
-David Letterman
Sarah Palin was in New York meeting foreign leaders at the U.N. Assembly. She was very impressed with all the landmarks in New York City. As she was driving over the Hudson River, she said, Wow your bridges actually go somewhere.
-Jay Leno
All these world leaders, while they are in New York City attending the General Assembly, are doing some shopping. The Japanese premier, for example, got a great deal on Morgan Stanley.
-David Letterman
Bill Clinton was on The View yesterday. It was a frustrating appearance for Clinton it turns out the pretty one is a conservative.
-Jay Leno