Page 1 of 1

Hey - Where's MY Economic Bailout? -satire

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:14 pm
by Danya (imported)
Where's My Economic Bailout? (http://www.brokennewz.com/stories/Bailout.asp)

With all the news of major banks like AIG, Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac being bailed out by the federal government, it made me start to wonder - Hey, what about me?

Just like the major banks, I've made some bad business decisions and put myself heavily in debt. Just like the major banks, people are starting to ask where their money is (Attention BN Staff - Your check's in the mail). But as where bailing out the banks and Wall Street companies will take billions upon billions of dollars, I'm a bargain! The government can bail me out for not even a fraction of a percentage of that!

For that matter, the government could bail out literally hundreds of thousands (If not millions) of hardworking Americans for what it's going to cost them to bail out one or two companies (And as opposed to the CEO's of these companies, the hardworking Americans haven't been drawing a 7-figure paycheck for the last couple of years). If a major company can screw around, do whatever they want, run themselves into bankruptcy and then have the government save them - Why can't honest, taxpaying Americans have that same privilege?

I'm not sure where to apply for my bailout, and I'm sure the amount of paperwork involved is immense. But I'm sure I speak for most people in my situation when I say that we're willing to jump through whatever hoops are necessary to get ourselves through this economic crisis. Here we are, federal government.

Come and save us.

© Copyright 2008 Unlimited Entertainment, LLC - All rights reserved. Broken Newz, The Internet's Premiere Satire News

Re: Hey - Where's MY Economic Bailout? -satire

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:29 pm
by incuse (imported)
That might be a satire site, but its about true. These ceo folk who created the whole mess, a lot of them, have it written in their contracts that no matter how bad they were they'll get millions in severance. Their severance package is larger amount I've earned during my entire working career!

Where is my bailout? I'm drowning in alcohol related debt from when I was stupid. . . I had a thing for nice scotch.

Re: Hey - Where's MY Economic Bailout? -satire

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:43 pm
by Danya (imported)
incuse (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:29 pm That might be a satire site, but its about true.

I agree, my friend. I, too, have a lot of debt and part of that is due to my own foolishness. I take ultimate responsibility for this BUT the greed of banks, credit card companies and others, who actively push credit, very risky mortgage plans, etc. at people is inexcusable.

Re: Hey - Where's MY Economic Bailout? -satire

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 10:33 pm
by DeaconBlues (imported)
......I take ultimate responsibility for this.....

OH TSK TSK! Now you see? THAT is YOUR problem right there, this "taking responsibility" that all the silly underlings do. You are clearly not "managment" sort, you just don't get the big picture. As long as you persist in this responsible behaviour... well, you will just never be executive material. I can see, that lacking a true educatoin in one of the finer business schools, the concept elludes you, but you just need to understand that laws and justice do not apply equally, laws are only for people who cannot afford to bribe the judges and politicians.