Hey - Where's MY Economic Bailout? -satire
Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:14 pm
Where's My Economic Bailout? (http://www.brokennewz.com/stories/Bailout.asp)
With all the news of major banks like AIG, Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac being bailed out by the federal government, it made me start to wonder - Hey, what about me?
Just like the major banks, I've made some bad business decisions and put myself heavily in debt. Just like the major banks, people are starting to ask where their money is (Attention BN Staff - Your check's in the mail). But as where bailing out the banks and Wall Street companies will take billions upon billions of dollars, I'm a bargain! The government can bail me out for not even a fraction of a percentage of that!
For that matter, the government could bail out literally hundreds of thousands (If not millions) of hardworking Americans for what it's going to cost them to bail out one or two companies (And as opposed to the CEO's of these companies, the hardworking Americans haven't been drawing a 7-figure paycheck for the last couple of years). If a major company can screw around, do whatever they want, run themselves into bankruptcy and then have the government save them - Why can't honest, taxpaying Americans have that same privilege?
I'm not sure where to apply for my bailout, and I'm sure the amount of paperwork involved is immense. But I'm sure I speak for most people in my situation when I say that we're willing to jump through whatever hoops are necessary to get ourselves through this economic crisis. Here we are, federal government.
Come and save us.
© Copyright 2008 Unlimited Entertainment, LLC - All rights reserved. Broken Newz, The Internet's Premiere Satire News
With all the news of major banks like AIG, Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac being bailed out by the federal government, it made me start to wonder - Hey, what about me?
Just like the major banks, I've made some bad business decisions and put myself heavily in debt. Just like the major banks, people are starting to ask where their money is (Attention BN Staff - Your check's in the mail). But as where bailing out the banks and Wall Street companies will take billions upon billions of dollars, I'm a bargain! The government can bail me out for not even a fraction of a percentage of that!
For that matter, the government could bail out literally hundreds of thousands (If not millions) of hardworking Americans for what it's going to cost them to bail out one or two companies (And as opposed to the CEO's of these companies, the hardworking Americans haven't been drawing a 7-figure paycheck for the last couple of years). If a major company can screw around, do whatever they want, run themselves into bankruptcy and then have the government save them - Why can't honest, taxpaying Americans have that same privilege?
I'm not sure where to apply for my bailout, and I'm sure the amount of paperwork involved is immense. But I'm sure I speak for most people in my situation when I say that we're willing to jump through whatever hoops are necessary to get ourselves through this economic crisis. Here we are, federal government.
Come and save us.
© Copyright 2008 Unlimited Entertainment, LLC - All rights reserved. Broken Newz, The Internet's Premiere Satire News