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Toilet-paper researchers create 3-ply tissue

Quilted Northern to market it those looking for ‘quality’ bathroom time

The Associated Press

updated 2:46 p.m. ET, Wed., Sept. 17, 2008

NEENAH, Wis. - If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that's what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.

Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.

The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."

Industry analyst Bill Schmitz is skeptical. He said extra layers make toilet paper stronger, not softer, although he said Georgia Pacific may have added extra fibers for softness.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26759554/

It'll probably sell well in DC.

I still can't believe razors went up to 5-blades.. lol..

Dave (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:26 pm The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."

Wow, researchers who can determine that! Quality time.

twaddler (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:17 pm I still can't believe razors went up to 5-blades.. lol..

What about these razors with multi-blades that take a AAA battery to vibrate? And you still only get about 3 shaves from them.

3-ply? I guess there is a sensitive ass-hole in every house.

Back in 2004, I wrote this sequence into a short story. It was prophetic, now that I think about it.

Ever wonder what a quality control expert does at a toilet paper factory? Some days I think about those things. Can't you just imagine the swelling pride of a father coming home from the toilet paper factory and bragging to his children how he makes his living?

"Daddy, Daddy what do you do for a living?" the kids ask, breathless and eager.

"Well kids, Daddy makes sure that the number of sheets is constant in each roll of toilet paper. And I assure that the softness is just soft enough to touch those tender tissues and clean that nasty fecal matter. Each day, I check the perforations so that the sheets tear away properly. And some days - just like today - I had them recycle an entire production run of the very best, thousand-sheet rolls because it was off-spec and of poor quality."

"Oh, Daddy, Daddy you're so wonderful, so brave," kids' reply adoring their dear, old dad.

WOW! What an achievement in life to brag about.

twaddler (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:17 pm I still can't believe razors went up to 5-blades.. lol..

First blade shaves clear

Second - shaves clearer

....

Tenth - smears blood and remains of skin in thin layer.

I don't use toilet paper thats true, I use wet wipes why you say because one sheet takes care of the job and toilet paper doesn't clean shit.

River

i don't use toilet paper thats true, i

Riverwind (imported) wrote: Sun Sep 21, 2008 6:30 pm use wet wipes why you say because one sheet takes care of the job and toilet paper doesn't clean shit.

River

TMI !

tmi !

tmi !