Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Charis (imported)
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Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Charis (imported) »

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great

seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the

big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other

over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the

game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!"

"I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

🤕🥊
Dave (imported)
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Dave (imported) »

try to explain American football or worse, baseball to a foreigner. The infield fly rule is a killer and touchbacks don't help.
Paolo
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Paolo »

The rules are a lot simpler in youth league!
StefanIsMe (imported)
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by StefanIsMe (imported) »

I come across as a totally normal guy, but man... football escapes me. I'll enjoy using that joke, Charis. Thanks!
kristoff
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by kristoff »

I spent four hours at the car dealer this afternoon buying a new truck (yea, good deal) and spent 2 hours of that in the waiting room. The Princess and I watched College Football for a couple of hours. I actually enjoyed it (How lesbianesque...); I loathe "professional" football. Have no real idea who was playing but I was rooting for whoever was playing well. And they can each have a quarter - I'll give em each one. Sides, there were some really hot boys playing, and they all had really cute uniforms.... and bums...and....
Kortpeel (imported)
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Kortpeel (imported) »

I loathe "professional" football.

So do I. And soccer and rugby and tennis. Pro sport has a fanatical following all around the world but it leaves me cold.

I seldom watch it on television as I find it boring. One of life's mysteries was how come my wife enjoys watching pro soccer so much. She's normally such a sensible, practical person.

Kristoff has solved the mystery for me:

...
kristoff wrote: Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:06 pm there were some really hot boys playing, and they all had really cute uniforms.... and bums...and....

This is the kind of information you would never normally get to know, except on this board.

Kortpeel
Paolo
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Paolo »

In American football (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_football), a touchback is a ruling which is made and signaled by the referee (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Referee) when the ball crosses into or through the end zone not in control of the team which put it into play. A touchback is not a play, but a result of events that may occur during a play.

For those that don't know, the "end zone" is the area at each end of the field that one must enter to score a touchDOWN, worth 6 points. It is bounded by the "goal line", the line you must cross to enter the end zone.

For example, if Team A has to enter the end zone at the south end of the field, a touchback happens when the ball meets the above conditions in the end zone at the north end of the field.

Kickoffs into the end zone which are fielded but not returned and punts which enter the end zone result in a touchback. Also, a touchback results when a ball carrier fumbles the ball within the field of play and the ball is either not recovered prior to crossing the end line and being out of play or is recovered in the defender's end zone by the defensive team.

Additionally, if the defensive team intercepts a forward pass in the defender's end zone, and then makes no effort to return the pass, a touchback is awarded. A forward pass (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forward_pass) that is thrown through and out of the end zone, however, is not a touchback; it is an incomplete pass.
Paolo
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Paolo »

The infield fly rule applies only when there are fewer than two outs, and there is a force play
Paolo wrote: Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:18 am (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For
ce_play) at third (runners on first and second base, or bases loaded). In these situations, if a fair (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_ball) fly ball (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fly_ball) is hit that, in the umpire's judgment, is catchable by an infielder with ordinary effort, the batter is out regardless of whether the ball is actually caught (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch_%28baseball%29) in flight. The rule states that the umpire is supposed to announce, "Infield fly, if fair." If the ball will be almost certainly fair, the umpire will likely yell, "Infield fly, batter's out!" or just "Batter's out!" Umpires also typically raise one arm straight up to signal to everyone that the rule is in effect.

Any fair fly ball that could have been caught by an infielder with ordinary effort is covered by the rule regardless of where the ball is caught. The ball need not be caught by an infielder, nor must it be caught in the infield. For example, if an infielder retreats to the outfield in an effort to catch a fly ball with ordinary effort, the Infield Fly Rule would be invoked, even if an outfielder ultimately caught the ball, and even if no infielder attempted to make a play on the ball. Similarly, a fly ball within the infield that could have been caught by an infielder with ordinary effort, but is caught by an outfielder, would also be covered by the rule.

On a caught infield fly, a runner must tag up (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tag_up) (i.e., retouch, at or after the time the fly ball is first touched by a fielder, the base the runner held at the time of pitch (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_of_pitch)) in order to be eligible to advance, as on any catch. If the infield fly falls to fair ground untouched, or is touched and dropped, runners need not tag up. In either case, since the batter is out, the force play on other runners is removed.

More info:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infield_Fly_Rule

This is why youth leagues generally disregard this rule, or simplify it to just the ball dropping into the infield with runners on 1st and 2nd and a force out at 3rd.
Dave (imported)
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by Dave (imported) »

The sport I really loathe most is water polo.

The second in line is beach volleyball.

And thanks Paolo, we all needed those explanations. They're better than sominex.
JesusA (imported)
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Re: Football FINALLY makes sense..........

Post by JesusA (imported) »

My favorite explanation of the great American interest in “American football” (to keep it separate from what the rest of the world knows as “football” and Americans call “soccer”) is an article by Alan Dundes. Alan was my mentor in graduate school and the chair of my doctoral committee. He remained a good friend up until his death from a heart attack (while in the middle of teaching his favorite class).

His article, titled Into the Endzone for a Touchdown: A Psychoanalytic Consideration of American Football, was published in Western Folklore in 1978. (Vol. 37, no. 2, pp. 75–88, for those who keep score.) It hit close enough to home for him to receive a number of death threats from football fans. He had police protection for quite some time afterwards.

My copy of the article is in hard copy (so that I would need to type it out, were I to post it here) and is much longer and far more Freudian than most of you would want to read. Instead, here is a brief article from Time Magazine commenting on it.

Football as Erotic Ritual

Are the guys on the gridiron really gay?

Time Magazine

Monday, Nov. 13, 1978

A quarterback receives the ball from between the center's legs. After a successful play, teammates sometimes hug or slap each other on the bottom. The possible homosexual implications of these and other football rituals have long been noted by professional and amateur behavioralists alike. But none have studied the subject more closely than Alan Dundes, an anthropologist at the University of California in Berkeley. In his view, fanny patting and centering the ball are only the tip of the gay iceberg. Writing in Western Folklore, Dundes says that the "unequivocal sexual symbolism of the game" makes it clear that football is a homosexual ceremony.

Dundes calls the consistency of the imagery "nothing short of amazing." He notes that uniforms are sexual—enlarged head and shoulders, narrow waist and skintight pants accented by a molded codpiece. The jargon too is erotic: "score," "down," "piling on" (gang rape), "popping" an opponent (overtones of defloration) and "sacking" the quarterback (plunder and rape). Players try to knock opponents down, putting them in the "supine, feminine position." Indeed, says Dundes, "football is a ritualized form of homosexual rape. The winners feminize the losers by getting into their end zone."

To Dundes, the three-point stance of football players is a form of sexual presentation derived from the animal world. Just as apes raise their bottoms and present their genitals as a sign of submission to stronger males, linemen present their bottoms to their more prestigious teammates in the backfield. "Spiking" the ball after a touchdown, says the anthropologist, "confirms to all assembled that the enemy's end zone has been penetrated."

Is football some kind of mass men's room solicitation of the national psyche? Not at all, says Dundes. It is merely a sanctioned form of theater where players and fans can safely discharge their homoerotic impulses. Coaches who ask players to refrain from sex before a game intuitively understand that football is a temporary substitute for heterosexuality, just as "football widows" understand that their husbands are "dead to them sexually" while football is on TV. "Football is a healthy outlet for male-to-male affections," says Dundes, "just as spin the bottle and post office are healthy outlets for adolescent heterosexual needs."

Dundes' theory has received scattered support. Says San Francisco Psychologist Jane Jacobs: "I think Dundes' ideas are very profound. My hunch is that it's right on." Former Running Back Dave Kopay, author of The David Kopay Story and now a gay militant, agrees that if homosexuality is not overt on the football field, "it sure as hell is covert."

But reaction in the Berkeley area has generally been chilly. Says Dave Casper of the Oakland Raiders (should it be Pillagers? Rapists?): "People outside of sports are always making things up on little evidence." Adds University of California Football Coach Roger Theder: "It's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard." Some campus athletes agree. Says Freshman Football Player Ron Goldy: "I was so angry, I just wanted to get my hands on the guy—I mean on his neck."

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/artic ... 81,00.html
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