I am now realizing that my interest in castration is purely a fetish. I have this huge urge to see my testicles severed and live as eunuch. But I know that this is a sexual fantasy.. one that might be self curing... I keep dressing it up in thoughts of religion , calming and the desire to be free of sex... Does anyone else feel like this?

What you have is far more common then you may think. Very many guys can not tell when the desire is a fetish or the real desire. That is why so many of us push so hard on chemical castration first. It is great way to help sort out the difference between fetish - fantasy - and real desire.

Castration is very often the object of erotic stories. It is very stimulating for many guys. The story area of this site has a very large number of down loads. Just based on those numbers very many guys get off on the desire of castration of some kind.

So you are far from being alone or one of a few with the desire whither be it in fantasy or in real life. Just sit back and enjoy your thoughts.

Congratulations on recognizing something that many do not. To some degree everyone has some sort of fetish whether it be a taste for imagined castration or wishing you had red hair. What you've accomplished is giving yourself the opportunity to enjoy something that you understand and can control. As I read through the many posts I'm often concerned that what some feel is a "real" desire is only a fetish/fantasy that they cannot fathom. Enjoy it!

Milkman (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:01 am I am now realizing that my interest in castration is purely a fetish. I have this huge urge to see my testicles severed and live as eunuch. But I know that this is a sexual fantasy.. one that might be self curing... I keep dressing it up in thoughts of religion , calming and the desire to be free of sex... Does anyone else feel like this?

Milkman-

I used to have a book called psychopathis sexualis. It was an english translation from early german psychoanalysis. Amazing book and a glimpse into sexuality and the medical profession. It mainly dealt with fetishes. I believe the book even dealt a bit with castration to control masterbation and sexual deviance.

Anyway, sex during this period in western history was extremely regulated. Marriage and prostitution were about the ways a man could experience sex. So men would often develop a fetish toward objects associated with a single sexual encounter. A garder belt, red hair, a womans comb these things could all become sources of arousal for a man after associating them with the sexual encounter.

I think it would be easy for a guy to develop a castration fetish based on all the castration sexual material. With castration, freedom from sex would be traded for asexual outcast. We all live in our own prisons, even if you were free of sexual desire, you would so alter your sexual idenity that a whole new can of worms would be opened.

chilli-

Milkman (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:01 am I am now realizing that my interest in castration is purely a fetish. I have this huge urge to see my testicles severed and live as eunuch. But I know that this is a sexual fantasy.. one that might be self curing... I keep dressing it up in thoughts of religion , calming and the desire to be free of sex... Does anyone else feel like this?

Well, a thousand hits a day can't be wrong...

A-1 (imported) wrote: Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:17 pm Well, a thousand hits a day can't be wrong...

Smiling, smiling, smiling. yep, I think that there are a few of us!

Milkman (imported) wrote: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:01 am I am now realizing that my interest in castration is purely a fetish. I have this huge urge to see my testicles severed and live as eunuch. But I know that this is a sexual fantasy.. one that might be self curing... I keep dressing it up in thoughts of religion , calming and the desire to be free of sex... Does anyone else feel like this?

My thoughts:

Are you having a fetish, or are you having a fantasy?

A "fetish" can be several things:

1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.

2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.

3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation

Fantasies however are different:

1. imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.

2. the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.

3. a mental image, esp. when unreal or fantastic; vision: a nightmare fantasy.

4. Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream

And while "daydream" and "fantasy" are linked by definition a daydream can be slightly different:

1. a state of dreamy meditation or fanciful musing: lost in reverie.

2. a daydream.

3. a fantastic, visionary, or impractical idea: reveries that will never come to fruition.

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From your description it sounds like you, like many E-archive participants, have a fantasy, not a fetish, or perhaps a daydream, a reverie that will never come to fruition. .

Enjoy your fantasies, let your daydreams run amok.

But be careful who you share your fantasies with.

And keep yourself under control so that you don't try to turn fantasies into reality. (eg. such as being under the influence of some chemical or letting yourself go too far).

Fantasies help us become kids again and help us feel free and in control.

Fantasies are an opportunity to get away from the real world.

Don't feel guility about any fantasy you might have.

Guilt ruins the effect.

Martin Luther King did not say "I have a fantasy".

No, he said "I have a dream".

In my opinion he should have said "I have a goal".

It doesn't sound like you have castration as a goal.

As kids, we don't have sexuality so fantasy thoughts about sex never enter our head. Age gives the opportunity to expand our fantastical mind.

Since my teen years I desired to be without balls even before I knew of the word castrate. I have no idea why.

While I have not achieved physical castration, I have achieved virtual castration. I call it being a virtual eunuch (or V-eunuch).

This was not chemically induced; it is a permanent physical condition so there is no going back.

My experience has been that once my testicles were damaged my testosterone level dropped and my interest in sex and in castration disappeared. I didn't even care that I didn't care about sex or castration.

I didn't like the emotional consequences of testosterone loss and there are physical benefits of having at least some T in the body.

With the recent re-introduction of prescribed testosterone I feel physically and emotional balanced; my sexuality has re-appeared. My desire for castration has also reappeared. I can understand that this hormone can have powerful physical effects; I can understand why it arouses my interest in sexual pursuits. I don't understand why this hormone has such influence on my thoughts about castration. Now that my testicles do not produce testosterone I have achieved my no-T goal and I don't need to be castrated, yet with T flowing through my veins I again desire to be a castrate.

Very odd.

So, if you want to experience a loss of sex drive, give chemical castration a test drive. Once your sex drive is gone you may no longer be interested in castration.

In the mean time, enjoy your fantasies, dream on, be guilt free.

The mind is a mysterious place.

Thinking is a harmless activity.

Just think before you act and act only in ways that harms no one.

Enjoy being a sane creative rational being who may have what society would classify as outlandish thoughts, and so what.

Society is probably having outlandish fantasies too.

The same society that will be quick to condem, chastise, ostracize anyone who makes the mistake of making their fantastical thoughts public.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 15, 2008 4:51 am Since my teen years I desired to be without balls even before I knew of the word castrate. I have no idea why.

/QUOTE]

2deadnuts

I too had a desire to be without my balls. The selfplay began when I was at least eight years. And I too had no idea what catstration was at the time. I'd tuck them between my legs, not wanting to be a girl, just without the balls. It was a bit of a ritual, but not an obsession. Now I realize the total effect that mum's emasculation had on me.

Any guy that recalls deep seated castration fantasy as a child needs to really examine his entire youth for the source.

chilli-

I was just reviewing the #3 definition of fetish:

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 15, 2008 4:51 am 3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation

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If testicles are removed do they them become a nongenital part of the body.

I

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 15, 2008 4:51 am s a habitual erotic response or fixation

on that nongenital part of the body (the no-balls part) then a fetish? Heck if I know.

Being pre-occupied with one's testicles, loving them immensely, and/or desire to be without them, by definition can't be a fetish, since by definition testicles are genital. So, this focus of attention must be an erotic fantasy?

There seems to be 2 issues:

1) The desire to be rid of the libido, of sexuality, or the feelings, mental anguish and emotions that result from testosterone (via chemical or physical castration). Castration is a means to an end. The focus of attention is not necessarily to be without balls per se.

2) The desire to just be rid of testicles, but not necessarily rid of sexuality, libido, etc. (perhaps just reducing sexual feelings but not eliminating them).

3) The desire to be rid of both, sexuality and testicles.

As sexually undeveloped children, the "curse" of testosterone would probably not be an influence in driving one to wish they were without balls. Childhood fascination, fantasy to be without balls would thus likely stem from childhood experiences? At that age the desire to be without balls would not likely come out of thin air; it must have been influenced by some experience which could be different for everyone.

In the order of things,

a) I guess what would be the worst would be to have no thoughts of castration (except fear of it) and then be castrated due to any reason; medical, accident, torture, whatever.

b) Next in line perhaps would be to have a desire to be castrated, have it done, and then realize afterwards that all you wanted was a fantasy, not a reality.

c) Chemical castration, with the possibility of un-doing it, or the risk of not being able to return to pre-chem castration functionality, might be next in line. Playing around with you-is castrated and you-isn't castrated (via chemicals) eliminates the absolute certainty of physical castration, and the risk involved may be erotic in a way.

d) Then less risky is just living with the fantasy and doing nothing physical or chemical, would then be next to last. The frustration is you wish they were gone, you wish you could do it, but you know you won't so you just live out your days in a check and balance of desire and frustration.

e) Then there are those who have no desire to be castrated, fear the prospect, can't understand why anyone would desire or fantasize to be without balls and live happily ever after with their dangling particples throughout their life.

e1) However some are suffering with the effects of high levels of testosterone and don't know it or what to do about it, or won't do anything about it. Have you ever heard of a doctor giving a prescription to a man with high T for the purpose of reducing the T level? I haven't but would be interested in knowing if this is done.

e2) Others are in a testosterone/mind/body balance, living contently without much thought on the subject. (aka: typical, average, normal)

If someone could wave a magic wand and make you an "e2" and be rid of thoughts of loosing sexuality and/or testicles would you do it?

I don't know if I would. It's always been kind of a thrill and exciting to be not "normal", average or typical. Normal seems so boring.

2deadnuts-

I think normal for some people is not comfortable either. It seems that the appearance of normal is what people are after. The loss of not being "normal" can be mediated by the uniqueness of being different. Maybe the trick is in understanding what makes a person different and how they can bridge the gaps created by their own "strangeness"

A freak in sheeps clothing

chilli-