A virtuous existence

[chilliwilli (imported)]

I was feeling much angst the other day. I was kinda scared. Everytime the phone rang it was more bad news. I had been in regular corespondence with my Dr office, and it was looking bad. I was terrified to answer the phone. The final call came in and it was the doctor letting me know that my impotence was complete and permanent.

So I felt empty. I called a buddy with similar stuff. He empathised. But he does not have near the impairment I have. In fact people are intrigued if not awestruck that in this day and age something like this can be done, and so completely. So that's when I went down to the swimming hole to make a stand.

So the past few weeks have been a feeling af extreme loss with the wonderful sensation of finally coming into one own. Anyway, a doctor friend who knows my condition, came to my aid. He always seems to know what to say just when. He showed me that all societies instill core virtues into individuals. The greeks had four; temperance, prudence; fortitude and justice.

Anyway after he noted my core values, I started noticing how people choose to manage loss and the affect their decision has on them and those around them. Sometimes they do not even consciously react to loss, but react none the less. And life is not fare!

The application of my values helps people recover and get on with their lives. It's kinda humbling to say, but when people look at my condition, it forces them to reaccess their own selfpity.

Anyway it seeems that alot of the board is taken up with fantasy and men coming to grips with their desires. Then there is a deeper, sometimes darker side of eunuchs seeking value and importance in their lives through the archive. Eunuchs looking for a sense of control, power.

The preliminary underlying purpose of this board seems to be to help men accept their emasculation, or at least gain a better understanding. The supportive environment spawns a sense of community but sometimes this becomes overshadowed by our own sinicle sense of helplessness and desire for power. Almost as troublesome as the man with the powerful intense urge to castrate himself, are the aimless pathetic eunuchs who seem to lack integration into a larger community. I certainly do not have time to read every thread, process and then form a response, well...perhaps occasionally.

There are so many beautiful gutsy intelligent people here I'm frequently inspired if not momentarily deeply and sometimes madly in love. But if eunuchs are to integrate with the outside community, to find their place in society, they must have many of the same core values as society at large.

So not wanting to malinger with fellow eunuchs, or wallow in one's self pity what can eunuchs do if they are unable to interact and express themselves in their own communities? What are the values that it takes for a eunuch to make it on the outside? How do you express your sexuality, possibly the dominant aspect of your personality, to others, without completely disregarding their lives, wants and right to live? As eunuchs do we do that anyway? Does the psychological molding of a boy into a eunuch so damage them that they can no longer lead a normal life? How does a eunuch break out of the virtual world and experience the things in life, that we as humans all need? How do eunuchs sustain themselves, and maintain dignity in the revolutionary political landscape of america, if not the world?

Just stuff to ponder in light of some recent run-ins between society at large and trans-eunuchs.

CLASS?......CLASS!

chilli-